“What?” He frowns. He lifts his arm and sniffs himself. “No, I don’t.”
“Yes. You do.” I wince. “You smell so bad it’s hurting my eyes.”
Oh god . . . go away from me. This is intolerable.
“Oh, come off it.” He rolls his eyes. “I’m not putting those chemicals on my body.”
“By chemicals . . . you mean deodorant?”
“It’s a government conspiracy.” He nods as if totally convinced. “This is how humans are supposed to smell. You’ve been conditioned to like the smell of poison.”
I frown at him. What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
“First day traveling?” he asks.
“How do you know?”
“You’re all uptight and judgy.”
“I’m not judgy,” I fire back.
“Yes, you are. I bet you’re looking at everyone and everything and comparing them to your safe little home.” He chuckles into his beer. “You need to get over it. And quick, or you’ll be on the first plane home.”
I frown. It’s like he’s reading my mind. I open my mouth to reply and get a strong whiff of him once more, and I screw up my face in disgust. “Fucking hell. You smell so bad.”
“Well, aren’t you an uptight prick?” He shrugs as if not believing me. “Nobody else has ever told me that.”
“I find that impossible to believe.”
“It’s true.” He smirks.
“I’m guessing that you do abysmally with the ladies.”
His face falls. “How do you know that?”
“Women like guys who smell nice, not garbage dumps.”
“I’m happy with who I am,” he announces, indignant.
“Okay.” I shrug and hold my two hands up in defeat. “If you say so. I’m just being honest. No malice intended.”
We stand in awkward silence for a moment. “So what do you suggest for me?” I ask.
“About what?”
“You said I need to get over being . . .” I pause while I search for the right word. “Uptight.”
“You do,” he replies.
“How do I do that?”
“Well.” He smiles as if excited that I’m asking for advice. “You need to just get on with it.”
I frown.
“Just live in the moment; don’t think. Don’t worry what anyone else is doing. Whatever makes you happy at home, just do it here . . . just because the location and settings are different, the same things bring you happiness. Your deepest inner self will appear without your possessions.”
I frown as I stare at him.
“I’m telling you, man, if you want to have a serious crack at traveling, you just need to do it.”
“Hmm . . .” I contemplate his words.
“Trust me. I’ve seen so many travelers. The ones who relax into it and take each day as it comes love the experience. The ones who compare every single thing to home go home in four to six weeks, and when they go home, they lie and tell everyone they had the best time of their lives, but the truth is they didn’t even scratch the surface. Some don’t even last six weeks—they go home earlier.”
I exhale heavily. I can’t admit that I was considering going home today after six hours.