Basil and Hayden roll their eyes at each other.
“I saw that,” I snap as I look up the long road. “Where is this restaurant, anyway? Bangkok?”
They stay silent and keep walking in front.
I wish.
Banging my cock sounds like a job I would actually want.
“Maybe I should be a gigolo?” I tell them. “Could kill two birds with one stone.”
Hayden rolls her eyes. “For someone who hates body odor as much as you, I imagine you would love all those dirty-smelling clients.”
I screw up my face in disgust. “Gross.”
She shrugs. “Just saying.”
“Yeah, well, don’t. I’m getting a bad visual right now.”
“What of, a smelly girl wanting you to go down on her for an hour?” She turns and smiles sweetly at me. “Sounds perfect. You should totally look into that.”
I wince. Just the thought roils my stomach.
“I would pick and choose my clients,” I reply. “Obviously.”
“Because hot girls pay for sex all the time,” Basil replies.
We keep walking and walking and walking . . .
“Where the fuck is this restaurant?” I huff. I glance at my phone. “Aren’t we supposed to be there like five minutes ago?”
“It’s up here. Five minutes late won’t matter.”
“Won’t matter?” I cry. “I hate late people,” I say as we walk along. “I’ve given a warning letter before for being five minutes late. Get here on time or get the fuck out.”
Hayden turns back to look at me, seemingly shocked. “To a schoolkid?”
“Oh . . .” Fuck, that’s right. I’m a teacher. “I take no shit from my kids.”
“Do you make them wear deodorant?” Basil asks.
“At all times,” I reply. This isn’t a lie. If I were a teacher, every fucker would be deodorized.
“I bet you hate dirty shoes too,” Basil says.
“I fucking hate dirty shoes,” I agree. “You can always tell how much respect somebody has for themselves by the state of their shoes.”
They both roll their eyes.
“You are the weirdest person I’ve ever met,” Hayden replies.
“I’m normal,” I announce. “Why, what do you do for work?” I ask her.
“Animal husbandry,” she replies as she walks in front.
I frown. “What’s that?”
“I’m an IVF specialist for cows.”
“Speak English. What does that mean?”
“I collect semen from bulls and impregnate cows.”
Both Basil and I stop still on the spot as we stare at her, shocked to our cores.
“You wank bulls?” I gasp.
“No.” She keeps walking. “I get them ready to do their business.”
“How? Do they watch cow porn?” I frown, fascinated.
Hayden laughs. “No, I set them up with a hot little heifer, and then we have a fake vagina heated to sixty-three degrees Celsius and filled with K-Y Jelly, and they do their business in there. An oversize condom catches it.”
My mouth falls open. “You have a bull Fleshlight?”