I imagine the possibilities and the risks and the feeling of pride I would have at the end, knowing I’d done it.
I haven’t been out this week; for the first time ever the thought of socializing isn’t something I can stomach.
I don’t want to be out there . . . I want to disappear.
Monday morning
After the longest sexless week in history, I’ve come to a decision. I step out of the elevator with purpose. “Good morning, girls.” I walk past them.
“Good morning, Christopher.”
I walk down the corridor and into Elliot’s office. Jameson and Tristan are leaving for New York tonight, and I know that I need to do this now, while we are all together.
“Can I speak to you for a minute in my office?” I ask.
Elliot looks up from his computer and frowns. “What about?”
“Just get Jay and Tris and come down and see me.”
“Okay.”
I walk down to my office and turn my computer on. I have a lot to do.
“What’s up?” Jameson asks. He walks into my office and flops onto the couch.
Elliot and Tristan follow. “What’s going on?”
“I’m taking a year off Miles Media,” I announce.
“What?” Jameson frowns. “What for?”
“I’m going off the grid.”
“How?”
“I’m going backpacking.”
Chapter 2
“You’ve got to be joking.”
“Nope.” I sit down at my desk.
“For how long?”
“Twelve months.”
Elliot screws up his face. “Fuck off. There is no way in hell you would do that. You nearly had me there. What do you really want?”
“I’m deadly serious.”
“You won’t last one hour backpacking, let alone twelve months.” Tristan huffs. “You’re more precious than the rest of us put together.”
Determination fills me. “I’m not useless, you know?”
“If this is about us teasing you last week, we were only joking.”
“This isn’t about you. It’s about me.”
“Being on a death wish?” Jameson replies dryly.
“What you said got me to thinking, if I don’t change the way I am . . .” I cut myself off, unwilling to say it out loud.
“What?”
“I’ve had this idea in the back of my mind for years. I know that if I don’t go now, I’m going to be too old.”
“You’re already too fucking old,” Jameson snaps. “I never saw a thirty-one-year-old backpacker.”
“Because you know so many.” I widen my eyes.
“Why would you want to do this?”
“Because I need to. I need to get my shit together. I’ve always said I was going to do it, and I think now is the right time.”
Elliot is pacing. “I mean, I guess . . . I could rearrange the staff . . . you could work in our offices abroad.”
“No, no contacts. I want to find my own way and earn my keep. I’m only taking two thousand dollars. I estimate that will last me a month if I’m roughing it?”