After a transfusion of several units of blood, I recovered. We had a beautiful, perfect newborn boy. But it was bittersweet. Dean and I hadn’t decided how many children we wanted, but we were agreed on at least one more. Finding out I would never get pregnant again was a tremendous blow. I begged him not to tell anyone because I couldn’t stand the outpouring of sympathy.
I was very protective of Andrew when I got home. Overprotective? I don’t think so. He was my baby. My only baby. I had a duty to him. To keep him safe.
Then Joel started coming to visit us. I could tell from the look in his eyes how badly he wanted to be a father. His new girlfriend Cassie was only twenty-six. She could give him six babies if he wanted. When I asked my doctor for answers as to why I had such a traumatic delivery, he had cited my age as one of the reasons. Advanced maternal age. A risk for everything. But it was only because of Joel that I didn’t have a baby until thirty-seven. He made me wait. Then he dumped me.
It was his fault. His fault I didn’t have a uterus anymore. His fault Andrew wouldn’t have a younger brother or sister.
His goddamn fault.
So one day when he and Dean were watching television together in the apartment while Andrew was napping, I slipped his ring of keys out of his jacket pocket and went to the local hardware store to copy them. It was even easier than when I had taken Francesca’s keys.
I remembered Cassie’s peanut allergy. I knew Lydia would be the one who would get blamed if she died, especially if I slipped that homeless woman another twenty to jog her memory.
Joel was untouchable. But Cassie? It was too easy to get to Cassie.
Cassie
Cassie’s knees are trembling as she exits the baby’s bedroom. She manages to make her way to the sofa, where the three adults are chatting animatedly while Andrew gurgles happily in Anna’s arms. She collapses onto the sofa next to Joel.
He reaches out and squeezes her knee. “You okay, Cassie?”
Cassie lifts her eyes to look at Anna, who is bouncing her son slightly on her lap. Anna looks in Cassie’s direction, and her eyes darken. A shudder goes through Cassie, and she thinks she might throw up.
“Yes, Cassie,” Anna says. “You look a bit ill. Could I… offer you something to drink?”
“No!” Cassie gasps. “I… I’m fine. Just fine.”
“Good.” Anna’s lips pull up in a smile, her eyes still dark. “Let’s keep it that way.”
Cassie can’t stop picturing the dark look in Anna’s eyes even later, after they leave the apartment and go out into the brisk spring night. She shivers and Joel puts his arm around her, thinking she’s cold, but she’s not cold. She’s terrified.
I don’t want to go to jail. Not for ten years. Not for one year. Not for one month.
“You feel like sushi for dinner?” Joel asks her as they stand on the corner.
Cassie hugs her arms to her chest. She has no appetite, but her stomach rumbles. “Fine.”
He squints at her in the fading light of the evening. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she lies. “I’m fine.”
He hails a cab and gives them a familiar address. It isn’t until they’ve reached the sushi bar that Cassie realizes why the address sounded familiar. It’s the same conveyor belt sushi place where they had their first date.
Anna
On the night before Lydia was accused of poisoning Cassie, Lydia tearfully confessed everything to me in the kitchen while our dinner burned.
“I was so angry at Joel,” she murmured into the tissue clasped in her hand. “I couldn’t stand the thought of him being happy. But it was… stupid.”