Knowing she won’t.
It looks like Joel and his olive-skinned girlfriend are having a sleepover tonight.
I don’t know how I ended up here. I was having a perfectly pleasant dinner with a friend on the upper west side. Unfortunately, this friend knows me better as me-and-Joel than just me. My career isn’t doing great and I’m living with my grandmother. My whole life was the elephant in the room. We talked a lot about what was good on TV.
And then after it was over, because I couldn’t help myself, I clicked on WhereAmI. Joel wasn’t home, so on a whim, I went to his apartment building. Looking back, I’m not sure what I hoped to achieve. I was having a good hair day and I looked my best in my sleek black coat and leather boots, and I thought maybe if he saw me…
Well, all that went out the window when I saw Olive.
They looked so happy together. And she looked… well, even on a good hair day, there’s no comparison. His arm was slung around her shoulders, and he was holding her close as they laughed over a shared joke. If I came over, it would ruin their night. For that reason, I was almost tempted to do it.
But instead, I watched them walk inside.
And then I waited out here. I thought maybe she’d stay for a little while, and then he’d walk her back down and bundle her into a taxi. But she’s not coming down. She’s spending the night. I’m sure of it.
“Would you like another cup of coffee, ma’am?”
I look up at the waiter standing over me. He’s young—early twenties at the most. I remember a time when twenty-three didn’t seem painfully young. And now the twenty-year-old just ma’am’ed me. As if this night couldn’t get any worse.
The waiter raises his eyebrows at me in a concerned expression. He’s cute—the sort of boy I might have dated in college. Okay, he’s young, but not that young. It’s not like I’m twenty years older. And aren’t young guys attracted to cougars?
Maybe Nonna was right. Maybe a little no-strings-attached fun is what I need.
“Maybe one more cup,” I say.
He nods and hurries off to get the coffee pot. He’s very polite and eager to please. Clean-cut with no piercings. And I like his smile. He’s not as handsome as that Dean guy—the friend of Joel’s—but he’s appealing in his own way.
When he returns with the coffee pot, he leans over me to pour the piping hot black liquid in my cup. I’ll have trouble sleeping if I drink this, but maybe that’s a good thing if there’s a chance I’m going home with this guy.
“Thank you,” I murmur.
“My pleasure.”
I lift my eyes until they meet his. I study the gold nametag pinned to his chest. Luke. He looks like a Luke somehow.
“You know,” Luke says, “my shift ends in twenty minutes.”
I suck in a breath. Did he really just suggest what I think he’s suggesting? Even though I’d been idly fantasizing about him, his proposition freaks me out. I couldn’t really go home with a young boy like this, could I? And what if this is all a trick on his part to rob me?
Although it wouldn’t be too clever, considering I know where he works.
“Thank you,” I say quietly. “I’ll just have the check.”
He lifts an eyebrow. “You sure about that?”
Am I? Spending a night with this boy might help me to forget about Joel. But I have a feeling when I wake up in the morning, I’ll feel even worse than I do now. This isn’t the answer. I don’t know what the answer is yet, but it’s not this.
“Just the check, please.”
Luke’s face drops, but he recovers quickly. “Whatever you’d like, ma’am.”