“He’s an idiot.” He shrugged. “And she’s an easy kid to love.”
Tess nodded, then laughed. “Scary how easy it is, even if half the time I’m pretty sure she needs an exorcism.”
“Maybe it’s a female thing.”
She chucked a pillow at his face and it landed with the accuracy only an older sister could execute.
THE NEXT MORNING, Levi asked everyone to meet in the kitchen at the table at eight A.M. sharp. He was there with copies of his presentation and an open laptop, ready to start the slide show. Jasper sat at his side, clearly hoping the show included breakfast.
Levi’s mom and dad showed up two minutes past the hour.
Tess came strolling in fifteen minutes later. “Sorry I’m late,” she said. “I didn’t want to come.”
Levi didn’t blame her. He didn’t want to do this either. “Can everyone see my laptop screen?”
“I wouldn’t worry about that,” Tess said. “I caught Mom and Dad ears to the wall, fully eavesdropping on you earlier. So chances are, they already know whatever it is you want to tell us.”
His mom glared at her beloved daughter. “That’s going to cost you my chocolate chip cookies.”
“I already ate them,” Tess said.
His mom looked at Levi. “I’m sorry. But you were on the phone and I was hoping it was with Jane.”
Levi drew a deep breath. Everyone in the house knew that the study was directly overhead. They also knew that if you put your ear to the wall behind him, the one with the doorway to the living room, you could clearly hear every word said in the study. “I was on work calls. For Cutler Analytics.”
“I know. It was very boring,” his mom said, looking disappointed. “Though I did hear you swearing.”
“I was swearing because your printer is ancient and prints a page a year. I’m buying you a new one.”
“We don’t need a new one,” his dad said. “That printer works just fine. A new one will only break. They don’t make things like they used to.”
“Dad, you have to shake the ink cartridge after every page you print.”
“So she’s a bit touchy, that’s all,” his dad grumbled. “She still has a lot of ink left in that cartridge—don’t replace it. Those fuckers are expensive. And I still don’t see why we couldn’t have done this in the study.”
“Or in the living room on the comfy couches,” his mom said.
“You don’t allow liquor on the couches,” Levi said, handing out glasses of orange juice. Then he grabbed the vodka from the freezer, pouring a healthy shot into the OJ glasses.
“It’s eight A.M.,” his mom said.
“Eight seventeen,” Levi said. “Which means that somewhere, it’s five seventeen. And a mimosa contains thirty-two percent of your suggested dose of vitamin C, so you’re welcome.” Then he pregamed by downing his.
His mom stared at him, looking worried. “It must be bad if my most well-behaved child is drinking so early.”
“Excuse me,” Tess said. “Most well-behaved child?”
“Honey, when you graduated and I went to have a little celebratory . . . ‘mimosa,’ my vodka was nothing but water.”
“Fine,” Tess allowed. “But Levi screwed up plenty too.”
“He was an angel,” his mom said.
Levi winced.
“Oh my God,” Tess said, tossing up her hands. “He’s no angel. You just never caught him at anything.”