I’m tempted to find Lance and pummel his face to match a fraction of the hurt Zahra went through because someone as sweet as her wouldn’t need a semicolon pin if it wasn’t for him.
“This is me now. But who I was before, when everything happened—I was a broken shell. I forgot to believe in myself when it mattered most.”
The hurt in her voice chokes me, making every breath difficult. Her eyes, always expressive, show every ounce of pain she’s felt because of that asshole.
I crawl over to her side of the table and pull her into my lap. She buries her face into my shirt, fisting the material of it as if she needs to hold on.
I’ve felt many different things in my life, but Zahra seeking comfort from me brings out something in me I can’t pin down. It makes me feel needed. Protective. Vindictive toward anyone who hurts her.
I really like her. Our relationship is slowly evolving from something casual into something more, and I’m not entirely against it.
I tug her tight against my chest.
“Claire was the one who started my pin collection after my very first therapy session. She bought me an Iggy the Alien one she found on Etsy, but instead of him holding up his three fingers in peace, he was flipping everyone off. It was a symbolic fuck you to Lance.”
I shake my head with a smile. “That’s illegal trademark infringement.”
“Sue me.” She grins.
I smile back. “How did you go from one pin to a whole backpack covered in them?”
“Claire made it her mission to find me the most outrageous pins each week. Every time I came back from my weekly session, she would unveil it. Now she gets me two a year, one for my birthday and one for Christmas.”
“She’s a good friend.”
“The best kind. I’m lucky to have her in my life. As a roommate and a best friend.”
I squeeze her closer as if it could alleviate some of the pain. “But now you’re better?” I try to hide the concern in my voice, but some of it shines through.
She nods. “Definitely.”
“For what it’s worth, he never deserved you.”
And you do?
“Thanks.” Her voice is a whisper, sounding so small and unsure.
“If you don’t mind me asking, why do you wear the pins then every day?”
“As a reminder and a promise to myself that no matter how hard life gets, I’ll keep pushing.” Her watery smile makes my whole chest tighten to the point of it being difficult to breathe.
I grab a lock of her hair and tuck it behind her ear. “You’re ridiculously amazing.”
“Because I wear awesome pins?”
“Because you’re you.”
I press my lips against hers. It’s a soft kiss, not meant to tease or provoke. I’m not sure what it’s for but I know it feels right.
She sighs and it makes something weird happen in my chest. Like I can make her content.
I press my forehead against hers. “One day I hope I can be strong like you. To maybe talk some things out that have been weighing on me.”
She sucks in a sharp breath. “Strong like me?”
I nod. My throat grows tighter as if it wants to stop me from spilling secrets.
Don’t do it. You open up this kind of wound and you’re asking for her to pick at your weaknesses.
But what if she’s not like him. Zahra is kind, loving, and everything good in the world. She’s nothing like my father. She wouldn’t judge me. No. Because she actually likes me—the complete opposite of him.