“My orders didn’t stop you from leaving a necklace,” I look between the two of them, and neither speaks up, but neither seems surprised I know, either. “I’ll fucking apologize for loving her the minute you do. But what I did,” I shake my head, “I don’t expect your forgiveness.”
“You won’t get it. And you don’t deserve her,” Sean clips.
“And you do? You two idiots parading around like men, like soldiers, when you don’t know a fucking thing about sacrifice. And with her, you sacrificed nothing! Not a fucking thing! Until you know what that is, you aren’t capable of being the man she needs.” Jealousy boils over as I condemn them both. “And you know all to fucking well that you lost her the minute you shared her,” I look over to Dominic, “and chose this life over her.”
“And you didn’t manipulate your way in?” Sean shakes his head with disgust. “The only thing I’m sorry for was that I ever believed your bullshit.” He spits on the ground, inches from my shoe.
“I brought her in fully and told her the fucking truth because it was safer for her, all the while knowing she could take me down, take us all down! This isn’t about me, or you, or our fucking agenda right now. This is about her.” I step up to him and can feel the tension coiling, the raw violence radiating from his frame. He’s torn between striking his brother while determining me his enemy. “You pulling out, Sean? If so, leave your wings at the door. Tonight, I’m here on business.”
Sean gawks at me. “You dare say this shit to me?”
“Yeah, I am. I need to know how far you’re going to go with this.”
“Who the fuck are you?” His voice is raw with pain.
“I’m the man who would step in front of a bullet for either one of you, no questions asked, but I’m also the man who held your fucking hands before I shaped them into fists. I’m the same man—up until I met her—who put you both above everyone else. But right now, who am I right now? I’m the man who loves her enough to not let anyone or anything in front of her.”
Sean’s voice shakes with hate as he looks over to me. “You playing I saw her first?”
“Yeah, I am. And I think you fucking knew what line you were crossing, or else you wouldn’t have hidden her from me.”
Sean rears back, his right catching me in the jaw a split second before Dominic pushes me back, relieving me of the brunt of the blow. Dominic rights me and glares back at Sean before turning to me. “You didn’t believe me, brother, but I believe you, now. Cecelia may be yours, but The Triple Falls chapter is mine, and as long as she’s here, she’s under my fucking protection. I’ve been running things here since you’ve been globetrotting, and if we’re going by rules, and business is business, you best goddamn mark her for no other reason than that. If you need anything from us from here on out, you’re going to have to ask nicely. Until then, we’re both done with you. You listening, big brother? We’re done with you on the non-business front. Get. The. Fuck. Out.”
The lividity and finality of his tone rips a place inside of me that can’t be repaired. My relationship with my brother is never one I would ever have put into question a year ago. It’s the one place I had peace, solidarity, consistency, and I’ve ruined it with my actions. But amongst the wreckage, I found a different place, one that I never believed could exist for a man like me.
Exhaling, I cup the back of my neck, and I find myself leveling with him in a way, a plea to hear me—fighting for his attention over his anger and hatred, a barter I never imagined I would have to make with my own blood. With the boy I raised and the man I shaped. But I can feel the shift, and it’s crippling. It takes me several seconds to speak before I look between them. “I’ve never asked you for anything, and I’m not asking you to forgive me, not now, but I feel I’ve given enough to ask you both this. For her, not for me, for Cecelia. You both brought her into this, and I’m keeping her in it for her safety and for my greed. I love her. And no matter what happens from here on out, I need your word that when the time comes, she comes first. And make no mistake, I know what part I played, but the truth is, we all made this more than business.” I turn to Dominic, knowing the truth about that day at the library, knowing full well he saw her and was always aware of her. “You brought her in when I told you to keep her out of it. I told you what would happen. I just didn’t know how it would play out. We’re all to blame. All of us.”