“Motherfucker,” he shakes his head as my heart cracks dead center, and I feel the years of separation between us, the longing I felt to get us back with no idea of how.
“But that very same day you broke our hearts, you showed us what true love looks like, and you gained it by sacrificing everything, including us, and our cause, for her.” He glances toward Cecelia and then back to me. “Something we both failed to do. And in turn, you earned her, and you do deserve her for it.” He swallows audibly. “When you tried to defend yourself, we knew you were right, but we were cut so deep we didn’t want to fucking hear it. Because losing her completely was a good enough reason to resent you, and our hands weren’t as dirty if you were equally as guilty.”
He blows out a harsh breath. “But we knew you were right, and I think, deep down, we both knew we were on borrowed time with her. And fuck, how I hated you for it.” He exhales again, his shoulders rolling forward. “Dom realized it that night because he caught on a lot faster like he always did. He understood. I didn’t fucking want to. But he always saw things clearly for what they were, even if it hurt. It took me a lot longer to sort it out. And Tessa, that woman, she went through hell showing me where I went wrong, but you deserve to know you’ve had my forgiveness for a lot longer than you think.”
I stand on the verge of eruption, the burn in my throat far too much as my eyes begin to sting.
“But the truth is now…” Sean admits hoarsely, his teary eyes lifting to mine, “I just want my fucking brother back.”
In a flash, I cup the back of his neck and press our foreheads together.
A pained gasp leaves us both as he grips my shoulders, the pressure unbearable until I release it, my emotions taking over as I swallow continually and try to speak. Sean grips my shoulders as we stand there for endless seconds.
“Always brothers,” I whisper through a shaky breath as we clutch each other tightly, mending the bridge that’s separated us for years. Several seconds pass as we collectively choke on our emotions.
“We all got too fucking good at keeping secrets, even from each other,” I admit tightly. “I’m sorry, brother.”
He shakes his head, and we separate, wiping years of pain away.
“We all made horrible mistakes, Tobias, but just look at where we are now, and it’s largely because of you. Take some fucking credit and let those mistakes fall to the wayside. It’s time to forgive yourself.” He sighs, running a hand over his face, his eyes shimmering again, his voice a plea, “But you’ve got to let him go. He wouldn’t want you condemning yourself like this. We all deserve to see how the rest of this plays out, especially you. You’ve got to let him go, man.”
I can barely manage my reply. “I’m trying.”
“Try harder.” He grips my shoulder and squeezes as I nod several times. “We need you.”
When he releases me, I glance over to see Cecelia frozen in the middle of the yard, staring at the two of us. I lift my chin to her to let her know we’re good, and she starts to make her way toward us.
A minute passes, maybe more, and Sean lights up another cigarette and passes it to me. I take a deep inhale, feeling lighter than I have in almost a decade.
“He never gave me a reason to suspect him, but it all makes sense now. It was so fucking obvious, Sean. So fucking obvious. I got a confession from Jerry that he sent Miami before I put a bullet in him but never asked for his source. I was so anxious to get back to Cecelia I didn’t press any further. I never thought Antoine was equipped enough. He played me well, distracting me with his own drama, but the truth is, who the fuck else would’ve known about a loyalty dispute in our club? Who would dig so far to find out?” Fury buds in my veins at the idea that the man who tossed the grenade—who set the events of years of hell I’ve been through into motion—almost got away with it.