And I want to be here.
But fuck if it doesn’t suck.
When I went to Sean for help in finding her, that’s when I felt a little give on his side. Over the years, I’ve felt his absence significantly. I convinced myself our mutual cause is the only reason we’re still part of each other’s lives, despite our history. But a hope lights inside. Maybe that’s no longer the case.
You really want to know?
Sean: I wouldn’t ask, man. That bad?
Cecelia’s priorities
Dog
Café
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ME. And fuck you for laughing because I know you are.
Bubbles. I decide I hate bubbles as much as I hate peas.
Sean: You didn’t think it would be easy, did you?
Hell no.
Sean: She’s got you by the balls already, doesn’t she?
More than that.
Sean: If it didn’t hurt, then it wouldn’t be worth it. You’re too used to getting your way. Let it burn. It will be worth it.
Disgusted I need consoling this early in, and by him, I change the subject.
Things good?
Sean: Can’t even last a day, can you, man?
Throw me a fucking bone. I’m useless here.
Sean: You’re not even twenty-four hours in. Give it time.
I will. I am. I’m not complaining.
I can feel the hesitation on both ends of the phone. A minute passes before I get another text.
Sean: It’s weird, huh?
You have no idea.
Sean: I have some idea. Wait until you go from Maverick to married with three kids.
Two kids.
Sean: Three. Found out this morning.
Congrats, man.
Sean: You going to have any?
I just starved half a day to make sure she didn’t poison my sandwich. I think I’ll table that conversation for later.
The bubbles start and stop.
Stop laughing. Dick.
Sean: You really have no idea what you’re doing, do you?
I want to be here. I know that.
Sean: Go with your gut.
Familiar advice.
Sean: This will work out. Day one.
Day one.
I mull over my word choice and decide just to type the truth.
Thanks, man.
Sean: Anytime.
You mean that?
The bubbles pop up and disappear, and a minute later, he replies.
Sean: I do.
Unexpected emotion clogs my throat as more tension leaves my shoulders. Glancing up, I see Cecelia watching me carefully just before she pushes through the doors with hands full of dirty plates.
I reclaim my seat as she comes back through, and the bell rings for pick up. A second later, a new plate is set in front of me.
“Eat before it gets cold,” she says softly. I grip her hand before she has a chance to walk off and bring the back of it to my mouth. Her eyes drop to where I press my lips to her skin before I release her.