“I bet they’ll unsubscribe.”
“Which means you’ve won. Now get out to Times Square before you take that over too.”
I take a deep breath, knowing she’s right. “I wish you were here with me.”
“Same, but the money I make tonight will buy us front-row seats to our first Broadway show.”
“Don’t you mean one month’s rent?”
“We need to live a little.”
“That sounds like living a lot.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing, Val.”
“Good point.”
I moved because life has been suffocating with my parents ever since I came out. They made me feel like a stranger in my own home. I thought it would be different when I was rolling my suitcases through the living room. But they didn’t say anything, not even when Scarlett said it was their last chance before we were leaving for the airport. Mom and Dad stayed quiet, as if they had only one child. I stared at the cross on our front door, praying it fell off as I slammed the door shut and left that life behind.
Freedom should be freeing, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be heartbreaking.
I’m going to find my own way now.
“Keep me posted on your party,” I tell Scarlett.
Scarlett grabs her jacket and turns out her light. “Speaking of, I have to leave five minutes ago. I love you.”
“I love you same,” I say, our favorite saying born out of our twinness. “Drive safe.”
“Always do!”
She does always drive safely. The same can’t be said for everyone else.
Back in May, Scarlett was almost killed because of a reckless driver. I was forced to imagine this nightmarish world without her shine, something I haven’t experienced since being born two minutes ahead of her. I’m never going to exist without her again. Even tonight feels weird, since she’s not in New York, but I’m okay knowing she’s alive and well in Phoenix. I’d rather be planets apart as long as she’s still breathing on the other side of the galaxy.
Surgery saved my sister’s life, though our parents claim it was all God. At the time I thanked the doctors and God, but these days I’m struggling with mysterious forces. That includes Death-Cast, an organization that expects us to trust them with no real proof. Part of me wants to be a believer and the other half has experienced firsthand how faith can backfire. Unlike my parents, I’m open to having my mind changed so that I never have to be scared of losing my sister out of the blue. Maybe we’ll all know more in a few days.
God bless those— I stop myself, still recalibrating everything in my head and heart.
Good luck to those who are basically going to be the Death-Cast test subjects.
As for me, I’ve been reborn and I have a lot of living to do.
Orion
10:34 p.m.
Even if the world was ending, that wouldn’t stop people from selling things.
The vendor tables in Times Square are usually too touristy for me to give a flying fuck, I have no use for magnets of the Empire State Building or taxicab key chains with my name. （Not that anyone ever puts any love into manufacturing things for the Orions of the world.） But even though it’s only been a month since Death-Cast first announced their program, the street vendors were on top of their shit with producing thematic souvenirs: a Smoke ’Em If You Got ’Em cigarette lighter; shot glasses with a skull sticker; sunglasses with red X’s painted on; and lots of apparel like shirts and hats. There’s a damn cute beanie I’m tempted to buy, but I’m already wearing my Yankees snapback that belonged to my dad, and this thing always lives on top of my curls whenever I’m out and about. I wouldn’t trade this hat for anything in the world. Okay, that’s a big stretch, I’d swap out this hat for a healthy heart in a millisecond, but you feel me.