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The First to Die at the End (Death-Cast #0)(67)

Author:Adam Silvera

“What’s the point? Their priest has convinced them that only God is omniscient and that Death-Cast is the work of the devil.”

I almost turn on the lights so Valentino can personally watch me roll my eyes.

“Maybe they’re watching the news and know better by now,” I say.

“I’m still undecided. You’ll probably think I’m a monster if I don’t.”

“No the hell I won’t. Why do you think I would?”

He gets really shifty. “I don’t know. You’ve lost family unexpectedly, and I’m sure you have a lot you would’ve said to your parents had you known it was the last time you were going to see them. . . . Did you ever get the chance to talk to them about your heart?”

“Heart stuff didn’t start until I was sixteen, remember?”

“I wasn’t clear. I’m sorry. I wasn’t talking about your heart condition. I was talking about where your heart pulls you, or more who it pulls you to.”

I like that even though I never said anything out loud, Valentino still knows I’m gay. Or at least that I’m not straight. Yeah, I was flirting with him in Times Square and I’m sharing a bed with him now, but I’m really proud of how openly I carry myself. This shit can be really scary, don’t get me wrong. Especially in the South Bronx, where I’ve never seen two men holding hands and gay is used as an insult. But I’ve known for years I wasn’t going to have forever to come out, so I flew out of that closet when I got the chance.

I’ll just always wish it had been sooner.

“I didn’t get to talk about it with my mom and dad,” I say.

“Do you think they would have been okay?”

“Okay with the gay?”

“Okay with the gay,” he repeats. “Don’t feel like you can’t be honest just because my parents weren’t ideal about it.”

“You sure-sure?”

“I am sure-sure.”

“My mom and dad always wanted me to be happy. I think they always felt guilty that they didn’t make more money to buy me whatever I wanted, so they did their best everywhere else. Like getting me a library card when I needed new books to read, or stealing printer paper from work so I could write my stories. So I don’t think they would’ve given a flying fuck who I brought home as long as they made me happy.”

Valentino throws up a fist. “Well done, parents of Orion. No wonder you’ve turned out so great.”

I blush in the darkness. “I got to give shout-outs to Dayana and Floyd too. They’ve been really dope guardians. I can’t think of a better place to have moved to than the home of my mother’s childhood best friend. We got to grieve her together, and Dayana’s always been letting me find my way and make my own mistakes, even when she wanted to step in. Like Times Square.”

“She didn’t want you to go?”

“Nope. Dalma’s parents wanted us to stay in, but I was itching for an adventure.”

“Wow. If you hadn’t been there . . .”

“Yeah, yeah. I saved your life, I’m a total hero. We get it.”

“I was going to say that if you hadn’t been there and tackled me, then maybe I’d still have my cell phone,” Valentino says, a smile in his voice. He playfully nudges me, and I feel like we’re one millisecond away from wrestling on this air mattress and saying “No homo!” even though we’re both gay. “I’m really glad you were there. That clearly wasn’t my finest hour, but it could’ve been a lot worse.”

“You could’ve lost your wallet too.”

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