I’m not dead.
Orion shouts my name, probably thinking I am dead.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“I’m alive.”
“Great start. But are you okay?”
I have a headache, but I’m suddenly self-conscious that I’m only wearing a towel. In all my modeling gigs I’ve been shirtless once but never had to be in my underwear. Which means this is the most exposed I’ve been in front of another boy. I sit up, my abs squeezing like I’m beginning a crunch, and my towel is thankfully concealing my business.
“You going to lie down there all day?” Orion asks.
“Maybe. It’s my End Day, I’ll do what I want,” I say.
“Respect.” Orion gets down on the floor with me, side by side like we’re back in bed. “How are you feeling?”
The wood planks are cold on my back, but it’s becoming soothing the longer I’m down here. “I should be fine. My head hurt more last night.”
“Good to know. How about with everything else?”
“You mean my End Day?”
“Yeah.”
“This morning has been hard. There was something really final about waking up. Nothing killed me last night, but today is definitely the day. Then I almost just died because I don’t know how to dry myself after a shower. Can you imagine? The first Decker getting taken out by a puddle?”
“Definitely one for the history books, but not how you want to go down.”
I almost find the whole thing funny. “Someone out there is going to start ranking dumb Decker deaths, aren’t they?”
Orion turns on his side, hovering over me slightly. “If you die a dumb Decker death I’ll tell everyone you died saving the world.”
“Or something more realistic, like I rescued kids out of a burning school bus.”
“Kids in a school bus on a Saturday isn’t realistic.”
“Neither is saving the whole wide world!”
Orion laughs. He hops up. “Okay, we can brainstorm more brilliant ways for you to die while we’re out living your life.”
I take his hand while also holding the towel over my junk. Orion helps me up, and our eyes meet, and his smile gets one out of me. He’s pulled me out of my dark headspace already. I break eye contact and stare at his white shirt: Have a Happy End Day! in bold black letters. It’s the kind of spirit I need to carry me throughout today.
“Since you’re getting my heart, can I take your shirt?”
Orion looks down at his shirt like he’s forgotten what it is. “Really? You want to be a Decker walking around in an End Day shirt? Isn’t that so dark?”
“I think I should keep that message close to my heart.”
“Literally?”
“Literally, I guess.”
“If you say so.” Orion takes off the shirt, and right when I think I’m about to glimpse what he looks like shirtless, he has another underneath.
That’s a shame.
I get dressed in the bathroom and admire my reflection in the End Day shirt.
I step out into the studio space to give Orion a turn in the bathroom while I fight my way into my white sneakers that are so fresh they need some breaking into. I’m sure the downstairs neighbor is rightfully annoyed to hear me stomping at six forty-five in the morning, but they can’t possibly hate me more than our landlord. I can’t concern myself with either of them. This is my End Day, and I know a model centering himself seems obvious, but in my case it’s deserved. I need to take care of myself and my people. Even if that means disturbing my downstairs neighbor as I walk around to make sure this apartment is tidy for Scarlett. I leave the bed alone since we’ll go and get new sheets for her together; I also personally like letting this memory of my last sleep live a little longer.