Yona nodded and returned to her shelter, her stomach twisting. Why did it feel as if she had something to apologize for? The existing group was no more entitled to survival than the newcomers. Weren’t they all obligated to help each other?
Once, Jerusza had told Yona of her travels south, down through Austria-Hungary, through Bosnia and Herzegovina, edging into Serbia, and finally the Ottoman Empire. She’d been a young woman then, and Yona had listened with fascination to this rare glimpse into Jerusza’s life long before Yona had existed. Jerusza had been in the forests near Prizren, in the ?ar Mountains, when the Albanians there had sworn a besa to preserve the integrity of their land, and that besa had come to mean, over the years, a word of honor, an obligation to help their fellow man in moments of need.
Yona had liked that, the idea that there was a term for that sense of integrity, of responsibility to all those who shared the earth. Over the last few months, she had found herself rolling the word around in her mouth, tasting it, reminding herself that though it was a concept that belonged to the Albanians, it was also a belief that should apply to all humankind. People should always help others in need; there was no other way for the human race to survive. And now, there was no choice but to extend that besa, that protection, to Zus and his group. Aleksander would have to understand.
In the morning, his side of the reed bed was still cold and empty, and as Yona emerged into a dim, foggy dawn, their footprints from the night before erased by a fresh blanket of pristine snow, she took a deep breath of damp, cold air and looked skyward for a second, wondering if it would snow again, whether they’d be able to return to the stream to fish some more. They needed the food. When she looked back down again, across the clearing, she locked eyes with Aleksander, who was standing in the woods, one of the rifles slung across his chest, watching her. She felt her heart skip, but she took another bracing breath and trudged across the snow toward him.
He leaned down to kiss her, but his lips landed on her cheek rather than her lips, and they felt cold against her skin.
“I thought Leib was on patrol,” she said.
“I wasn’t tired. I offered to take over.”
“You could have come to bed.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment. His breaths were clouds, hanging between them before vanishing. “I needed time to think.”
There was something about the way he said it, something about the way he averted his eyes, that made her uneasy. “Think about what?”
“Think about what? About our survival, Yona! About all the people I’m trying to protect. About the way you’ve put them all in danger!” His words burst from him, a series of tiny explosions.
She took a step back, snow crunching beneath her feet. “We can’t let anything happen to any of them. You know that, Aleksander.”
He made a noise in his throat, half grunt, half laugh. “You say it like you have control over it, Yona. Like you have some sort of deal with God. But you don’t have that kind of power, and I’m not even sure God is listening. We’re out here all alone in the middle of the woods, and it will be weeks, maybe months, before the snow thaws. We don’t have enough food.”
“We will gather more,” she said softly.
“We don’t have enough shelter!”
“Everyone fit last night. It might not be comfortable, but there is enough.”
“And what about when the Germans come?” he shot back. “What then? With fifteen, we could hide, we could move. But with twenty-six? It will be twice as hard. You’ve exposed us to danger, Yona.”
She watched her breath in the air for a moment, an unfamiliar ball of anger rolling slowly in her stomach. She had never felt that way toward Aleksander before, but now she wanted to grab him by the collar and shake him. “What would you have done without me?” she asked softly.
“What?”
“What would you have done without me? You are an intellectual, Aleksander. A bookkeeper. You said it yourself; you don’t know these woods. Would you have known what foods could be stored for winter? How to hunt or fish when the animals became scarcer? How to hide? How to stay warm in the winter? How to build safe homes in the earth?” She hated to bring it up, but the fact was, he’d only survived because she had offered help, besa. Now it was his turn to do the same.
His eyes were hot coals as he stared at her. “Well, Yona, I suppose you’ve put me in my place, haven’t you? I’m useless, yes? That’s what you’re saying? Good, I’m glad you’ve finally spoken the words aloud.”