“English, please, Felix,” I said. Then I corrected him. “Door.”
“Tür,” he muttered again, just loud enough for me to hear. I’d told him no more television that day and he was simultaneously moping and building a tower with some blocks. I scrambled to my feet and dropped my rubber gloves into the sink, then slipped out of Jürgen’s shirt and tried to smooth my hair as I walked to the door. I hoped it might be Claudia, coming to thank me for the confectioners’ sugar I’d left on her doorstep a few days earlier.
When I swung the door open and saw Lizzie Miller, my breath caught. She was holding a beige ceramic plate. She was a picture of poise—her vibrant red hair in a pageboy bob, sleek and smooth and curled under at the ends, delicate pearl earrings in her ears, perfectly fashionable makeup and lipstick so pristine I knew she’d freshened up before getting out of her car.
“My brother takes this route through the neighborhood on his way to work, and that’s not a crime. If an innocent man walking past your house bothers you, go inside. Don’t speak to him. Don’t wave to him. Don’t so much as look at him!”
She was angry—but she was also scared. Of Henry? For Henry? I wasn’t sure, but I could see the emotion so clearly on her face, I felt it echo through my body.
“Maybe he needs help,” I said flatly. Lizzie Miller’s eyes flashed fire and her nostrils flared.
“Don’t you dare try to tell me what my brother needs,” she hissed. “I don’t want your cakes and I don’t want you to come near us. If you drive past and my house is on fire, do not stop to help. You aren’t welcome in this town and you sure as hell are never going to be welcome at my house.” She extended the plate toward me. “Here’s a plate to replace the one you lost.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I don’t want to owe you a damned thing,” she interrupted me, thrusting the plate into my hands. She nodded curtly and turned away, her heels clicking against our porch then driveway as she walked toward her car.
“I just wanted to reach out to you,” I called after her. “To say sorry for the way I spoke to you at the picnic. I know we got off on the wrong foot—”
She spun back to face me, and this time, the hatred in her eyes was unmistakable.
“What was your husband’s rank in the SS? Did he instigate the genocide, or did he just participate in it? And we both know you knew about the camps. If you did nothing to help those people, you’re complicit too.” Her expression twisted with frustration. “You and your husband do not deserve to be here, living among decent American folk.”
“You don’t know a thing about me and my husband,” I said, forcing myself to keep my tone even, even though I wanted to weep. Lizzie was right—I did not deserve the comfortable life I’d been offered in America. That didn’t mean I was about to let her destroy it with her gossip. Maybe Jürgen and I had our share of guilt and shame, but our children were innocent, and for them, we had to make Huntsville our home. “What kind of a person would try to undermine a family’s new life without even trying to understand their old one? What kind of a person would tell her friends who they were allowed to spend time with, as if she had some claim to their time?” I hated that she might see how much she’d upset me, but I was rapidly losing the battle to stay calm. My voice wobbled miserably as I added, “I feel sorry for you, Mrs. Miller. I really do.”
Lizzie Miller stared at me thoughtfully for just a beat. Then she sighed impatiently.
“Here’s a tip for you, Mrs. Rhodes,” she said, as she slipped her sunglasses back on. “No one wants you here. No one. So if an American woman suddenly seems determined to befriend you, you should probably assume she has an ulterior motive.”
She revved the engine violently as she drove away, speeding down our street toward her house.
37
Sofie
Berlin, Germany
1941
It was Jürgen’s idea to buy a country house, midway between the Peenemünde facility and Berlin. The distance was taking a toll on us all. I agreed we should consider it—but just a few days later, he called to tell me he’d spoken to a Realtor and they’d already found the perfect property: a fully furnished home right on the lake at Tollensesee, ten kilometers from the small city of Neubrandenburg. It would take Jürgen about two hours by car to reach the house—time he felt he could spare as often as twice a month. From Berlin, it would take me just a little longer.