“I’m not so sure about any of that,” I sighed. I knew from Jürgen that this was Karl’s expectation, but to me it seemed laughably optimistic. “If I hear anything, I’ll call you.”
A few days later, Hans called and asked to speak to Georg, and I didn’t think anything of fetching my son. I left him in the study to talk to his friend and went back to the kitchen, where I had been cataloging supplies. The city was likely to fall within weeks. Aerial bombing kept us up several nights in a row and it seemed clear this was only just beginning. I was moving every scrap of potential sustenance into the makeshift bomb shelter we’d set up in the small cellar below Adele’s building. I was scared, but I’d been scared for so long by then, I’d learned to push through it. The best thing I could do for my family was to be prepared.
The next thing I knew, Georg was in the doorway in his Hitler Youth uniform, a canvas bag hanging from his shoulder. He was fifteen, and a proud, full-fledged member of the senior ranks. His uniform was just a little too large. He inherited Jürgen’s height and needed the next size up, but he didn’t yet have the bulk to fill it out.
“I have orders, Mama,” he told me. His eyes were alight with excitement, as if he’d been summoned to play a particularly thrilling game. It was the happiest I’d seen him since my arrest. “We are deploying immediately.”
“Orders?” I repeated blankly. “Deploying?”
“My Hitler Youth division is being deployed to defend Kassel.”
He let his bag fall to the floor and he stepped toward me, a grave expression on his face. I set down the bag of flour I had been holding and turned toward him, more confused than alarmed.
“You’re fifteen,” I said blankly. “You’re a child, not a soldier. Who told you you’re being deployed?” I dusted off my hands on my apron and took a step toward the door. “You’ve misunderstood, that’s all. I’ll call the captain—”
“He’s on his way to pick me up.”
I hated to call Lydia back, but I couldn’t think of another way to straighten out this mess. Georg waited by the door as I dialed and spoke to the zu Schiller housekeeper, who went to fetch Lydia. After just a moment, she answered the phone breathlessly.
“Sofie! Do you have news about Karl?”
“No, I’m sorry—”
“Then now isn’t a good time. I’m helping Hans pack his bag.”
I turned to look at Georg. He had recently started shaving—probably a little before he needed to. The razor had inflamed the hint of acne along his jawline. He had Jürgen’s coloring and my intellect. He was handsome and proud, his boots shiny, his tie knotted perfectly—all on his own.
But his skin was red, flushed with irritation and probably more than a little embarrassment.
He was a boy. He was just a boy.
“I’ve just talked to Georg. They can’t be deploying children,” I said. I could feel the blood thundering around my body—the pulse sounding in my ears and under my skin.
“The Führer has said that we must defend the Reich to the last,” she said impatiently. “These boys have been training for battle for years.”
“You’re going to let Hans go?”
“I’m worried, of course, but I’m also proud. Hans and Georg are warriors today! It’s not for us to decide if they go. They have orders. They simply must obey them,” she said. Then she dropped her voice and scolded me. “Sofie, you should have learned your lesson last time. We are to be loyal to the Reich, above all else.”
I hung up then without a farewell. My ears were ringing—with shock, with terror, with disbelief. I turned back to Georg.
“You can’t go,” I blurted. “You need to stay with me.”
“I can’t refuse orders, Mama. That’s treason!”
“But you can ignore them, Georg, and you must. We’re losing the war,” I said, and I reached for him just as he reached down to scoop up his bag. He shook me off, his expression hardening.
“Losing the war? Don’t tell me the enemy has fooled you with their propaganda! The Führer says we just need to stay the course. Fight house-to-house, he said. That’s how we will be victorious—”
“You have to think for yourself now,” I interrupted him urgently. “It’s only a matter of time before the rest of Germany falls, and when that happens we will be liberated. It is almost over.”