Kiva had never been inside Jaren’s private rooms before, but after what had just happened, she barely summoned a passing interest. She did note that his sitting room was nowhere near as opulent as the queen’s chambers, closer in style to what Tipp and Kiva shared, but that was all she saw before he strode into his bedroom, sitting down on his bed with her resting in his lap.
The room was dark, moonlight shining in through windows that, like Kiva’s, opened to a balcony over the Serin River. The space was considerably larger than her own guest quarters, with masculine shades of gray and navy intermingling amongst the standard gold and pearl of the palace. Even his bedding was darker, his large four-poster bed nothing short of luxurious.
“Kiva,” he said hoarsely, gently cupping her face. “I am so, so sorry.”
Kiva felt the devastation of his words deep inside her.
“I don’t know how I’ll ever —”
“Shhh,” she interrupted, unclenching his jacket and placing a finger against his lips. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Her voice rasped slightly, but it was a minor inconvenience compared to the alternative.
Jaren had saved her life.
Again.
Unable to bear up under the weight of that, Kiva leaned forward until her head rested in the crook of his neck, whispering, “Thank you.”
A pained sound left Jaren, and he wrapped his arms around her once again, uncaring about the mess she was transferring onto him. “Please don’t thank me.” In a quiet, agonized voice, he added, “I thought she’d stopped. She told me she’d stopped.”
Kiva clutched him even tighter, feeling his anguish as if it were her own. Weak and vulnerable, she couldn’t stop herself from pressing the softest of kisses to the underside of his jaw, offering the only comfort she could.
Jaren froze beneath her, but then he released a long breath and buried his face in her hair, drawing her closer.
“I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you,” he whispered.
Kiva’s throat tightened as she whispered back her own horrible truth, something she wished was a lie — but it wasn’t. “Same.”
At her single, tremulous word, Jaren tilted her head back so she was staring straight at him.
The air fled her lungs all over again at the look on his face, at everything he was allowing her to see, everything he wanted her to see.
Her skin began to tingle at the heat in his eyes, warmth flooding her veins and chasing away any lingering cold from the queen’s attack. She was still shivering, but no longer from fear — it was a different kind of shivering now.
Anticipation flooded her, yearning flooded her, and despite her mind screaming that this was a bad idea, that it would only end in heartache, she didn’t stop Jaren as he slowly inched closer.
Kiva sucked in a swift breath —
But at the last second, Jaren shifted, his lips coming to press against her forehead, before he whispered against her skin. “Stay with me tonight.”
It wasn’t an order, and despite the heat that had been in his eyes just moments ago, Kiva knew he didn’t intend for anything more intimate to happen between them.
Disappointment filled her, but at the same time, so did an acute sense of relief.
“I’m not sure —” she started, her voice wobbling from the intense feelings still simmering within her.
“Please,” Jaren begged.
The crown prince. Begging.
“After what just happened, I need to know that you’re safe,” he said, still quietly.
He was still shaken, Kiva realized, perhaps more than she was. Because of that, she slowly nodded her agreement.
Jaren breathed a grateful sigh and kissed her forehead again, before pulling back. “I’ll get you something to change into.”
And then he was lifting her off him and onto his bed, the back of his hand stroking her cheek before he strode across the dark room to his wardrobe.
Kiva managed to pull herself somewhat together before he returned and handed over one of his clean long-sleeved shirts, after which she quickly ducked into his bathroom to rid herself of her soiled clothing.
When she stepped back into Jaren’s room, he’d changed into a pair of sleep pants — and nothing else.
Kiva’s mouth dried and she forced her eyes away from his bare chest just in time to see him still at the sight of her in his shirt, the hem of which barely skimmed her mid-thigh.
What am I doing? Kiva’s panicked mind screamed. She couldn’t do this. She definitely shouldn’t do this.