Because she didn’t want to let him go.
And she wasn’t sure if she ever would.
When Kiva woke in the morning, there was a prince in her bedroom — but it wasn’t the same prince who had stayed with her after her nightmare until she’d eventually dozed off in his arms.
“Training, Sunshine,” Caldon said. “Up, up, up!”
Groggily, Kiva pulled back her covers, wondering when Jaren had left, but grateful that his cousin hadn’t caught them in bed together.
A painful moan left her as she stood to her feet, her muscles protesting everything she’d put them through the previous day. But Caldon showed her no mercy once they reached the training yard, his second lesson turning into a replica of the first, just with extra box-stepping and an added running lap.
Kiva again vomited up the contents of her stomach, with Caldon unsympathetically pushing her to her limits — and beyond.
Sweating like a river and aching all over, Kiva wasn’t sure how she made it back to her room afterward, but once she’d soaked in a long, hot bath and changed into clean clothes, she began to feel mildly human again. Embarrassment from the previous night tried to creep in, but she wouldn’t let it take root. Jaren had been there for her when she’d needed him. Jaren was always there for her when she needed him. She just couldn’t think about that, because when she did . . .
She’d seen him in the training yard that morning, facing off against Captain Veris again. He’d paused only long enough to look her way and send her a comforting smile before dodging the captain’s next sword thrust, but that smile had been enough for her to know that whatever had happened between them in the night — and in the cavern yesterday — didn’t require an explanation. Or a definition. They were what they were. Jaren and Kiva. Two people connected for better or worse. It wasn’t something Kiva needed to dwell on. In fact, it was something she couldn’t dwell on if she wanted to maintain any semblance of sanity. Her plans hadn’t changed — even if her heart refused to listen.
A knock on her bedroom door startled her from her thoughts, and she assumed it must be Tipp coming to check on her after her nightmare. But when she opened it, she found an elderly servant woman, who bobbed into a quick curtsey.
“Begging your pardon, miss, but the healer who treated you the other night has sent word asking for you to meet her at Silverthorn.”
“Rhessinda?” Kiva asked.
The woman nodded. “Yes, miss. I can have her return to the palace if you’d prefer?”
“No, no, that’s fine,” Kiva said. “It’s a beautiful day. It’ll be good for me to get out for a bit.”
Staying active would help keep her sore muscles loose, too. Not to mention, it would give her an excuse to have some time away from Jaren. Distance, she reminded herself, was needed — even if she was failing spectacularly at following her own advice.
“Very good, miss,” the servant said, curtseying again and departing.
Kiva had planned to spend her day snooping around the palace and mapping the grounds, but with everything she’d learned yesterday, she’d earned herself a break. It wasn’t like she could offload the information yet anyway, still having no idea when her siblings intended to reappear.
After tugging on her boots, Kiva made her way down to the ground floor and stepped out into the spring sunshine. She’d been told upon arriving in Vallenia that she could come and go from the palace as she pleased, the guards having been ordered to give her free rein through the front gates. Because of that, she had no issue leaving the grounds, smiling politely to the Royal Guards and receiving respectful nods in return.
Kiva took her time meandering along the River Road toward Silverthorn, breathing in the fresh air and enjoying the sun on her skin. It was the last day of the River Festival, but the streets were nowhere near as crowded as the first night, with no pushing or shoving, just pockets of children dancing to upbeat tunes from wandering musicians.
It was almost a shame when Kiva reached the academy, her muscles burning anew as she ascended the steep hill atop which the campus rested. Moving stiffly to ease some of her agony, she headed in the direction of the main infirmary, having no idea if Rhessinda would be there but confident someone would be able to point her in the right direction.
Strolling down the arched stone pathway, Kiva admired the luscious green sanctuary between the buildings, again marveling at the serenity. She was so lost in her appreciation that she nearly collided with a woman walking in the opposite direction, and did a quick hop-step to the side just in time.