Back in her room, Kiva bathed quickly and ate a light breakfast as she dressed for her outing, adding a hooded cloak to protect her from the coastal breeze she would encounter on her journey — and affording her discretion if needed.
Remembering to pinch a dose of muscle relaxant into her tea to help stave off the pain Caldon’s session would later prompt, Kiva gulped it down and hurried from her room. She paused only twice on her way out of the palace: once when she passed Tipp and Oriel chasing Flox through the halls, the middle-aged Tutor Edna running after them and mumbling a prayer for patience, and the second time when Naari called her name, right as she was stepping out of the entrance hall.
“I hear you’re heading to Silverthorn again,” the guard stated.
Kiva was surprised that Naari wasn’t shadowing Jaren’s footsteps, but then she realized that many of his conversations must be confidential, just like the Royal Council meeting.
“I’m spending time with one of the healers,” Kiva confirmed, keeping her expression open and honest.
Naari looked at her closely before sharing, “Jaren says it’s important that you don’t feel trapped here, that you’ve had ten years of being a prisoner and you deserve to remember what it means to be free.”
The last thing I want is to make her feel like she’s trapped in another kind of cage.
Jaren’s words from two days earlier returned to Kiva, his thoughtfulness cutting her deep all over again.
“But you should know he’s worried about your safety,” Naari continued, “especially after what happened the other night. He won’t take away your freedom — he’d never do that to you. So I’m asking you to have a care.” Her amber eyes held Kiva’s. “I’ve posted extra sentries along the River Road with orders to watch out for you, but there’s a lot of foot traffic between here and Silverthorn, and even the most attentive of guards can miss things. Jaren won’t say it at the risk of making you feel shackled, but I think you already know it would destroy him if something happened to you. So be smart.”
Kiva’s breath was trapped somewhere in her lungs, stopping her from responding, but she nodded her understanding — and her agreement.
“Caldon says you’re useless with a blade,” Naari went on, pulling a dagger from her cloak, “but I’d still feel better knowing you had one. Just in case.”
Trying to hide the tremble in her hands, Kiva took the weapon and listened as Naari offered instructions on how to strap it to her calf, tucked beneath the leather of her boot but still within easy reach.
“Don’t stab yourself,” Naari warned.
“Why do people keep telling me that?” Kiva muttered.
Naari’s lips twitched before she repeated her demand to be careful and vanished back into the palace.
Letting out a long breath, Kiva set off for Silverthorn, mulling over the guard’s conversation. She didn’t like the idea that Jaren was worried about her, but then she reminded herself that she shouldn’t care what he felt.
The last thing I want is to make her feel like she’s trapped in another kind of cage.
Everworld help her, why did he have to be so . . . Jaren? She knew it would be so much easier for him to order guards to follow her, or even request that she stay inside the palace grounds where it was safe. But he hadn’t, instead putting her needs first, just as he always had.
On that thought, Kiva shook her head and imagined a mental door slamming shut, picking up her pace as she headed along the River Road. She was acutely aware of Naari’s patrolling guards monitoring her from somewhere amongst the crowds, but instead of their hidden presence making her feel safer, her skin was crawling, like they would somehow be able to read her mind — and her guilt. The feeling only passed when she ascended the hill to Silverthorn and reached the campus grounds, finding Rhessinda waiting for her at the arched entrance.
“Perfect timing,” the healer said with a bright smile. She had a large pack slung over her shoulder, likely filled with her medical supplies for the day. “Ready for an adventure?”
Kiva was more than ready, even if her stomach bubbled with nerves as she followed Rhess to the small stable complex situated just through the academy’s front gates.
“I’m guessing you haven’t ridden much in the last ten years?” Rhess asked, approaching a young stableboy who held the reins of two healthy-looking horses, one chestnut, one gray.
“That would be accurate,” Kiva said, warily eyeing the horses. The last time she’d ridden on her own, it had been atop her family’s docile old pony, a much, much smaller creature than those standing before her.