“I also heard you’ve been offered a position at Silverthorn,” Jaren added, “and I didn’t want to risk pulling you away from your dream.” He leaned closer, his expression filling with pride. “Congratulations, Kiva.”
Right now she deserves the chance to live her life and follow her dreams.
Her chest tightened at the remembered words. “I haven’t accepted yet.”
“I heard that, too.” Jaren cocked his head to the side. “I’m just not sure why.”
“I —” Kiva swallowed. “I just want to make sure I’m ready first.”
“Healer Maddis says you are.”
That wasn’t what Kiva had meant by ready. “She only says that because of my father.”
“She knew him?” he asked, surprised. “You told me he was a healer — did he study at Silverthorn?”
“Sort of,” Kiva hedged. “Maddis said he was one of her best students.” She knew better than to give Jaren more of her family history — he already knew too much for comfort. And yet . . . he’d still defended Faran to the Royal Council. Kiva, too, by association.
“Like father, like daughter,” Jaren said, looking at her warmly and sliding a comforting arm behind her shoulders.
Kiva couldn’t speak for a long moment, his words resonating deeply.
It was true — she was like her father. She had his healer’s heart, his compassion for people, and, long ago, she’d also had his eternal optimism.
But then Zalindov had happened.
And Faran had been taken from her.
In all the time since then, she’d become so obsessed with vengeance that she hadn’t stopped to think about what he would have wanted. For her. For their family.
Or perhaps she hadn’t considered it because she already knew the answer.
Faran would have wanted them to forgive, and to move on. He would have wanted them to chase their dreams, to be happy, to live.
He wouldn’t have wanted them bent on revenge.
He would have just wanted them safe.
And deep down, Kiva knew he would be turning in his grave if he knew what his children were up to.
“Speaking of fathers,” Kiva said, croaking slightly and needing to not think about her own. She settled deeper into the lounge, unintentionally leaning into Jaren. “King Stellan, is he — um —”
“Is he what?”
In a whisper, Kiva asked, “Is he sick?”
Jaren froze beside her. But then his arm curled tighter, either to comfort himself or to comfort her as he breathed out a quiet, “Yeah.”
“Is it terminal?” Kiva kept whispering.
Jaren nodded. “It’s in his blood.” His free hand smoothed Flox’s ears as he shared, “There’s been more bad days than good lately. That’s why you didn’t meet him before tonight — he’s been in bed all week.”
Softly, Kiva asked, “How long does he have?”
“We don’t know,” Jaren admitted, just as softly. “It could be years, but most likely months. Possibly weeks.”
“There’s nothing you can do?”
Shaking his head, Jaren said, “We’ve tried everything. Now we just keep him as comfortable as possible.”
Seeing the raw pain on his face, Kiva erased the last of the distance between them, resting her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arm around his stomach, being careful not to dislodge Flox. She knew it wasn’t wise, that she should keep her distance, physically and emotionally.
She knew — but she didn’t care.
Not when Jaren was upset.
Not when he needed her.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
In response, he placed a soft kiss on her temple.
Silence fell between them, long enough for Kiva to decide it was time to return to her room. But just as she was about to do so, her eyes drifted shut and she descended into sleep.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
When Kiva woke the next morning, she was in her bed, the blankets snug around her. She cast her mind back and realized Jaren must have carried her to her room and tucked her into bed.
A mortified groan left her, but then a hard knock on her door had her shooting upward, with Caldon calling through the wood a moment later to say it was time for training. The last thing she wanted to do that morning was work on her fitness — not when she was so anxious to find Nanna Delora — but knowing the prince would hunt her down if she tried to skip their session, Kiva hurried to change into her training clothes.
“I hate dawn,” she said upon meeting him in her sitting room.