“Matthew paid me, too,” Polly blurts. “He insisted. He’d come by when you weren’t here, usually at closing time. He’d give me some cash and ask how you were doing. I thought it was so sweet, that he loved you so much.”
Marissa should be upset, but it’s such a small betrayal, in the grand scheme of things.
“After we found that creepy note, we started talking more frequently. I’m such a dummy. He really made me believe he was trying to protect you, Marissa.”
“I believed him, too. It’s okay, Polly. Truly.”
Polly twists her hands together. “Well, if there is anything I can do, anything at all…” Polly hangs her head and begins to walk away.
Marissa doesn’t feel as if she has much to give—she needs to save it all for her son—but she can offer Polly this one small thing.
“Actually,” she calls out, “I would really love it if you could make me a cup of tea.”
Polly spins around and wipes away the last of her tears. “Coming right up.”
After Polly serves her the hot chai and goes back to the front of the store, Marissa sips it and stares into space.
Learning more about the extent of Matthew’s depravity only increases her desire to be with Bennett. Her son is the antidote to Matthew’s poison.
Marissa keeps recalling how Bennett had looked walking up the front steps of Rolling Hills this morning, holding his dinosaur diorama in both hands, his big backpack resting on his small shoulders.
Would the other kids stare at him or ask him upsetting questions—or worse?
Marissa has spoken to the principal, and Joan in the front office, and Mrs. Tanaka. They all promised to look out for him.
But children can be vicious, and teachers couldn’t be there all the time. Someone could taunt Bennett in the hallways or in the bathroom: Your dad tried to kill your mom! Or: It’s a good thing your dad is dead!
It’s too much for Bennett’s little shoulders to bear.
She imagines him sitting alone in the lunchroom, or leaning against a tree at recess to hide his tears, and Marissa bends over, wrapping her arms around her waist. Aching for her son.
She’d been so foolish to imagine they could step back into their old lives as easily as slipping on a soft pair of shoes. A week, a month, a year … There would never be enough time to recover.
She’s about to call the school to check in when she hears the jingle of the bell over the door again, then Polly saying Marissa is busy right now.
Leave us alone! Marissa wants to cry. She curls into a tighter curve, wishing she could disappear.
“I only need to talk to her for a minute!” The loud voice is close—and familiar.
When Marissa opens her eyes, she sees Natalie standing on the threshold to the back room in her sky-high heels and leather leggings, her shiny black hair flowing.
“This is a restricted area!” Polly practically shouts. She’s tugging on Natalie’s sleeve, trying to pull her away.
“Jesus, let go of my blouse! It’s Stella McCartney!”
“It’s fine, Polly.” Marissa lifts her head wearily. Why fight it? Whatever Natalie has come to say, she’s clearly determined to say it.
Polly shoots a final angry look at Natalie, then moves away.
“Nice guard dog you’ve got.” Natalie rolls her eyes. “I guess I’m to blame for that. I heard you were looking for an assistant and I knew my boss wanted to help Polly because he’s close to her dad. So, I told him she should apply here. Matthew thought it was best if you didn’t know about my involvement, but I couldn’t resist rubbing it in the other day. Sorry about that. But you have to admit you and I haven’t always had the easiest relationship.”
Marissa blinks. “Is that what you came to tell me?”
Natalie brushes at her sleeve, as if she’s erasing Polly’s touch. “No, this is: I remember how worried I was about Veronica when her father left me. I get that this is a million times worse.”
Marissa looks at Natalie a little more closely and finally says, “Thank you.”
“So don’t worry about Bennett. I’m on it.”
Marissa is bewildered. “You’re on it?”
Natalie looks at her levelly. “All of us moms are. We’ve got him, Marissa.”
Then Natalie turns on her heel and saunters back out.
* * *
Three o’clock takes forever to arrive.
Marissa is in the passenger seat of Skip’s Tesla, waiting for the students to come streaming out of Rolling Hills.