Leni drifted through the crowd alongside her mother, clutching the small backpack she’d had since she was twelve years old. Her Alaska backpack. It felt totemic, the last durable remnant of a discarded life. She wished she’d been able to bring her Winnie the Pooh lunch box.
They arrived at their destination: a sugary pink Gothic building with sweeping arches and delicate spires and intricately scrolled windows.
Inside was a library unlike any Leni had ever seen. Row upon row of wooden desks, decorated with green banker’s lamps, were positioned beneath an arched ceiling. Gothic chandeliers hung above the desks. And the books! She’d never seen so many. They whispered to her of unexplored worlds and unmet friends and she realized that she wasn’t alone in this new world. Her friends were here, spine out, waiting for her as they always had. If only Matthew could see this …
She walked in step with her mother, their clunky boot heels clattering on the floor. Leni kept expecting people to look up, to point them out as intruders, but the students in the Graduate Reading Room didn’t care about strangers in their midst.
Even the librarian didn’t seem to make any judgments about them as she listened to their questions and gave them directions to another desk, where another librarian listened to their request.
“Here you go,” the second librarian said, handing them a collection of bound newspapers.
Mama said, “Thank you,” and sat down. Leni doubted the librarian heard the tremble in Mama’s voice, but Leni did.
She sat down on the wooden bench next to Mama, scooted close.
It didn’t take much time to find what they were looking for.
KANEQ FAMILY MISSING
FOUL PLAY SUSPECTED
State authorities released information about a missing Kaneq family. Neighbor Marge Birdsall called State Troopers on November 13 to report her neighbor, Cora Allbright, and her daughter, Lenora, missing. “They were supposed to visit me yesterday. They never showed. I worried right off that Ernt had hurt them,” said Birdsall.
On November 14, Thomas Walker reported finding an abandoned truck not far from his homestead. The vehicle—registered to Ernt Allbright—was found at Mile Marker 12 on the Kaneq road. Authorities reported finding blood on the seat and steering wheel, as well as Cora Allbright’s purse.
“We are investigating this as both a missing persons and as a potential homicide,” said Officer Curt Ward of Homer. Neighbors reported that Ernt Allbright had a history of violence and they fear he killed his wife and daughter and ran off.
No additional information is available for release at this time, as the investigation is ongoing.
Anyone with information on any of the Allbrights is asked to call Officer Ward.
Mama leaned back, sighing quietly.
Leni saw the pain Mama carried and would now always carry—for all of it, for staying when she should have left, for loving him, for killing him. What came of pain like that? Did it slowly dissipate or did it congeal and turn poisonous?
“Dad says they’ll declare us dead at some point—but it might take seven years.”
“Seven years?”
“We have to go forward, learn to be happy, or what was it all for?”
Happy.
The word had no buoyancy for Leni, no lift. To be honest, she couldn’t imagine ever being happy again, not really.
“Yeah,” Leni said, trying to smile. “We’ll be happy now.”
TWENTY-SIX
That evening, after dinner, Leni sat on her twin bed, reading. The Stand by Stephen King. In the past week, she’d read three books by him and discovered a new passion. Goodbye science fiction and fantasy, hello horror.
She figured it was a reflection of her inner life. She’d rather have nightmares about Randall Flagg or Carrie or Jack Torrance than about her own past.
She was just turning a page when she heard voices, lowered, moving past her room.
Leni glanced at the bedside clock, one of dozens in the house, all ticking in time like the beat of a hidden heart. Almost nine P.M.
Usually her grandparents were in bed by now.
Leni set the book aside, marking her page. She went to the door, cracked it open just enough so she could peer out.
Lights were on downstairs.
Leni slipped out of her room. Her bare feet made no sound on the plush wool carpeting. Her hand gliding down the smooth mahogany banister, she hurried down the steps. At the bottom, the black-and-white marble felt cold beneath her feet.
Mama was in the living room with her parents. Leni carefully edged forward, just enough so she could see: Mama sitting on the burnt-orange sofa, with her parents sitting across from her in matching paisley wingback chairs. Between them, the maple coffee table was decorated with a forest of ornate china figurines.