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The Guilt Trip(13)

Author:Sandie Jones

“That must have been some show,” says Paige to Will, sarcastically.

“Oh, she wasn’t with me,” he says.

“It was an ex-boyfriend,” says Ali, grimacing. “I don’t think he was particularly impressed.”

“I can’t imagine anyone would be, if their girlfriend made a fool of herself like that,” says Paige.

Noah laughs awkwardly. “So how long did you have your surf school down here?” he asks Will, in a clumsy attempt to change the subject.

“About eighteen months,” says Will. “It’s just about the longest I’ve stayed anywhere. But hey, I must have managed to put down enough roots to make this feel like the place I wanted to get married. I know a lot more people here than anywhere else in the world.”

“Well, let’s give thanks for that!” says Noah, looking up at the house and raising his glass.

“Oh, don’t be acting as if butter wouldn’t melt,” Ali says to Paige, as if Noah and Will hadn’t spoken.

Rachel’s ears burn with a searing heat as she prays that Paige hasn’t heard her, and wills Ali not to say another word.

“You must have done things you’re not particularly proud of,” Ali goes on, leaving Rachel’s prayers unanswered.

She feels Paige bristle as an expectant hush descends, as if they’re all waiting with bated breath for an answer.

“I don’t tend to make mistakes,” says Paige eventually.

“Oh, come on,” pushes Ali. “You can’t possibly have been this perfect all your life.”

Noah chokes theatrically on his wine. “Well, there was this time…”

“Ah-ha!” shouts Ali triumphantly, as Paige throws Noah a warning look. “I knew it! So, come on, Noah. Tell us what your perfect wife used to get up to.”

Paige laughs, but it sounds hollow. “I can assure you, I’m by no means perfect.” She takes hold of Noah’s hand beside her and squeezes it, but Rachel can’t tell whether it’s for support or to reprimand him for dropping her in it.

Ali tucks her legs up underneath her as if she’s settling into a good film, and Rachel winces as she waits to see how Paige is going to play this. Is she going to give Ali what she wants? A glimpse of her old self, in another life? Or is she going to stick to the carefully crafted character she’s created for herself in order to get ahead in an industry that has piranhas snapping at your heels at the first sign of weakness?

It was that version that Rachel got to see more often than not these days, as the pressure in the city forced Paige to be someone she never used to be. They still had fun whenever they were together, but it had become more and more inhibited—as if Paige had an impenetrable barrier around her that wouldn’t let her fully kick back and relax. As if by doing so, she would reveal a vulnerability she couldn’t afford to expose.

Paige drains her glass of wine and puts it back onto the table with a vigor that has both Noah and Jack reaching for the bottle to give her a refill.

“So, what have you done?” asks Ali, unable to let it go.

Paige looks around the group, as if sizing them all up; gauging whether she should say what she’s about to say.

“I took drugs once,” she says eventually.

A hush momentarily descends over the group before Ali spits out some water. “Are you serious?” Her eyes widen.

“Yep,” mutters Paige.

“That doesn’t count,” exclaims Ali. “We’ve all done that! Come on, Noah, what’s Paige done that she’d be ashamed to tell us about?”

Noah laughs nervously. “Should I tell them about the time you refused to come down from the podium in Halkidiki, or when you got yourself arrested?”

Paige’s jaw involuntarily spasms as she tries to smile, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Oh my God,” squeals Ali. “You got arrested? What for?”

Paige clears her throat. “I was at a rally and an over-zealous police officer decided to make an example of me.”

“That’s brilliant!” says Ali, clapping her hands together. “What were you protesting against?”

“Erm, it was a women’s rights march in London,” says Paige. “A judge had let off a rapist because he said the victim was too drunk to know whether she consented or not.”

“No way,” says Ali, without a modicum of conviction. “That sucks.”

“Indeed it does,” says Paige tightly.

“So, do you consider yourself a feminist?” asks Ali.

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