She half expects Jack to stand up and defend her; tell his mistress that his wife is off-limits, but of course, he doesn’t. He just sits there, with the tightest of smiles stretched across his face, and white-knuckled fists clenching his napkin.
“So, thank you, Jack,” says Ali. “For everything. I hope I’m able to pay you back, tenfold.”
Every word grates into Rachel’s consciousness, the meaning behind each one, hidden from all but her, and most likely Paige, who she can’t bear to look at. How could any woman be so audacious as to wrap up promised pleasures to her lover in a veiled speech at her wedding?
“But until then,” says Ali, as if affirming Rachel’s worst fears, “let’s get this party started!”
20
“I’m just going for a smoke,” says Jack as the restaurant staff begins to move tables to make way for a dance floor.
“I’ll join you,” says Paige tersely.
Rachel looks at her wide-eyed, in silent warning.
Paige, her jaw set, as if she’s in court and about to deliver the blow to the jugular, surreptitiously shakes her head, as if to say, “I know, don’t worry.”
As Rachel watches the pair of them walk across the emptying restaurant and out onto the terrace, there’s a part of her that wishes Paige would take him to task. She has a way with words that Rachel could never begin to emulate. She’d be able to deliver the ultimatum clearly and succinctly with no room for error or misunderstanding on Jack’s part. He either stops whatever he’s doing with Ali and begs for forgiveness, or he chooses to be with her. The very thought of him leaving sends shooting pains across her chest and she struggles for breath. Josh would never forgive him, she knows that much, but then he’d never forgive her either, if he found out the father he was mourning wasn’t his father after all.
“Hey, you okay?” asks Noah, coming over just as the table in front of her is taken away. She hasn’t even noticed that she is almost the last person on a chair.
“You still not feeling well?”
“Erm, no,” she says, getting up. “I feel a bit sick.”
“Could it be something you’ve eaten?” he asks, his voice full of concern.
“Well, if it’s something I’ve eaten, then we’re about to see everyone else drop like flies too.” It’s an attempt at a joke, to ease the tense atmosphere, but it comes out like a sarcastic barb.
“I want a paternity test,” says Noah.
Rachel’s blood feels like it’s stopped moving, her heart shocked into submission. The whole room and all the people in it seem frozen in time, in suspended animation. Will has his head thrown back, laughing heartily; Chrissy is in the throes of being twirled around by a waiter; and Ali … Ali is looking directly at Rachel and Noah with a knowing expression.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she says through a forced smile, refusing to give Ali any more power to wield over her.
“I need to know if Josh is my son,” says Noah.
Her head snaps round to face him; she’s so incensed that she doesn’t care who might be watching anymore. “And have you thought about what he might need?” she hisses. “What do you suppose would happen to him if it turned out you were his father? That Chloe is actually his half-sister? How do you think that would make him feel? But yet, like everybody else, all you can think about is yourself. How you need to know. How it will make you feel. Well, guess what? This isn’t just about you.”
“Are you honestly telling me that it has never occurred to you?” asks Noah.
“Yes,” she lies. “Why would it?”
“Because it’s a very real possibility,” he says, his voice high-pitched.
She shakes her head in disagreement, though she’s not convincing herself, let alone anyone else. “Whatever you may remember of that time is wrong,” she says.
“I remember that you cut off all communication while I was away,” says Noah. “How could you not have had the decency to at least tell me what was going on? Why would you have denied me that?”
“Because it had nothing to do with you,” she snaps, desperately looking around for a way out of the conversation.
“So, I went from being your best friend to a stranger who wasn’t entitled to know that you were pregnant and getting married?”
Rachel shifts from one foot to another while she thinks of a logical reason to counteract his argument, but the only one she can think of is the truth. So instead, she lies.