Dwayne raised his glass. “To Sara.”
“To Sara.” In this instance, the unanimous chorus was endearingly authentic; still, Patrick bristled. Once again, more people stepping in to mourn her, when he selfishly wanted her all to himself.
“How wonderful to have the children, though. Not the circumstances, but to have this time with them.”
Patrick realized he must have made a sour face when he looked up from his glass and saw JED staring at him from the other three corners of the room.
“You never wanted children?” Eduardo asked.
“No, of course not.” Patrick took another sip of his cocktail. “Did you?”
“Oh, yes,” John said. “Because of my niece, in fact. We were driving one time on the highway. I don’t even remember where we were going. But we passed a big truck filled with chickens in wire coops, and white feathers rained down on us like snow. She watched tiny clouds of feathers float around us and then she asked, ‘Uncle JoJo?’ She called me JoJo. ‘Does that hurt the chickens?’ How marvelous, I thought. We were having this strangely beautiful moment, and she wanted to know if the wind was hurting the chickens.”
“I love this story,” Dwayne said, as if they sat around and told it every night.
“I just remember thinking, children’s souls are so gentle. I wanted to be around that all the time.”
Patrick smiled. “This morning Grant asked me what was inside an eel. He had this image of shucking one to see what he would find.”
“Well, that’s just boys,” Eduardo said, and the others agreed.
“I wasn’t like that.” Patrick chuckled, remembering as a child only caring to know what was inside Julie Andrews that allowed her to hit those high notes. He raised an eyebrow. “You all feel this way?”
John nodded and Dwayne said, “We do.”
“Then why not have kids?”
“Oh, sweet Patrick,” John chided. “You’ve been in the desert too long.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
John pursed his lips and his sharp cheekbones became even more pronounced. “It’s not exactly a traditional arrangement we have.”
“So? This is California.”
“It doesn’t matter. No one’s going to give us a kid. No agency is going to work with us.”
“But you would be such good parents!” Patrick pulled a coaster from a stack; he looked at it twice before recognition set in. It featured the X-ray image of a man receiving oral sex. “Maybe after a little baby-proofing.”
“That’s very sweet of you to say. Still.”
“The world is changing, but not that quickly,” Dwayne added.
“Well, two of you could adopt formally, and then all three raise the kid.”
Eduardo sighed. “Alas, we’re like the Musketeers. All for one and one for all.”
“Eduardo actually has a child. A son, in Mexico. But he’s not allowed to see him.” John moved a potted fern away from his chair and into the light.
“You’re kidding. That’s so unfair!” Patrick didn’t know if this was some family or immigration issue and didn’t want to pry about anything as personal as Eduardo’s citizenship status; they were friends only to a point. And it’s not like he was employing Eduardo to get his mail—he had volunteered. On top of that, despite his remarkable successes in life, Patrick knew about as well as anyone that life was unfair; he didn’t need it explained to him.
“Them’s the breaks.” Dwayne shrugged. Eduardo looked at the floor.
“There must be something,” Patrick started, then stopped. Who was he to tell JED they hadn’t thought this through or exhausted every avenue. These things—adoption, egg donors, surrogacy—were very expensive and he was sensitive to the differences in their financial situations. John had mentioned offhand once that he’d invested well （of the three of them, he was the only one who didn’t seem to currently work）， but that it took all three of them to afford this house. He gave up and repeated, “Them’s the breaks, I guess.”
“What is inside an eel?” Eduardo asked, begging off the topic.
Dwayne shrugged again and suggested, “More eel?” They laughed.
“Well, now I want unagi,” John said, placing his hands on his knees, and they all chuckled again.
“You have no idea the questions I’m fielding. And it’s only been two days! Who invented swear words? Why do we have two eyes, but only see one thing? Why don’t dogs have eyebrows? What was the last day I was a child? The inanity is endless!”