“No,” I groan, feeling defeated as I sit on the floor with my back against the fridge, an oven mitt on one hand. “Just the butteries going up in flames.”
She coughs and picks up a book, then tries to wave the smoke out of the cottage with it. “What happened?”
“I think too much lard. Something dripped and burned in the oven, and now it’s smoking me out. I think it’s a sign. Butter and lard don’t want me anywhere near them.”
“How did they come out?”
I stand and bring the baking sheet over to her. Congealed into one giant liquid mess, the “butteries” are once again melted and burned. They definitely look like roadkill, but not in the charming way I’m sure Lachlan and Leith meant.
“Huh . . . well, those don’t look appetizing.”
“Thank you for pointing out the obvious.”
“Keep trying.” She gives my shoulder a pat. “Make butteries your bitch.”
Hmm . . .
“Think they’d respond to some good old-fashioned tying up and whipping? Haven’t tried that yet.”
“You never know until you try,” Dakota says on a laugh.
“I’m about to become their madam. Safe word . . . ‘boaby stone.’”
CHAPTER EIGHT
ROWAN
Authors I can’t stand who are making me do this: One.
Looking forward to a much-needed break from the blonde tornado who spun into my life. Also, waiting desperately for Shona to restock Curly Wurlys at the market.
“What are we waiting for?” I ask, glancing around the group and adjusting the rucksack on my back. “Everyone’s here.”
Lachlan, Leith, and Isla exchange glances. Within a second, I know the Murdachs have planned something and they’re trying to decide who should break the news to me.
“Your turn,” Leith says to Lachlan. “I told him about Hamish and the electric outlet near the sink he needed to fix.”
Lachlan looks at Isla. “I told him about Fergus pooping in his shoes.”
“This wasn’t my idea,” Isla says, crossing her arms over her chest.
Leith grumbles and turns to Lachlan. “Rock, paper, scissors. Seven out of nine, loser tells him.”
“Seven out of nine? That’s absurd,” Isla says. “Do three out of five.”
“Do sudden death, or I kick all of your asses,” I say, growing irritated.
“Even mine?” Isla asks, innocence in her usually steely eyes.
“Aye, even you.”
“Fine.” Leith and Lachlan hold out their hands. They count off and Leith wins with rock.
Lachlan groans and is opening his mouth to make his confession when a voice behind me calls out, “We’re here.”
I turn to find Dakota and Bonnie walking up to us, each of them carrying a water bottle at their side. When Bonnie locks eyes with me, I see my thoughts mirrored in her expression.
What is she doing here?
What is he doing here?
“Sorry we’re late,” Dakota says. “Bonnie lost her other shoe, and we couldn’t find it. Somehow it ended up in her bed.” She flashes a smile at Isla.
“You’re right on time,” Isla says, walking up to Dakota and giving her a hug. I watch the surprised expression on Dakota’s face soften into happiness. Isla quickly hugs Bonnie as well and clears her throat. “The boys and I were talking, and since you lasses are new to the route, we’re going to buddy up.”
Uh, we did not discuss that.
“Leith and Lachlan are going to lead the way,” Isla continues. “Dakota, you can buddy up with me and we’ll go second, since the terrain is a little rocky. And, Bonnie, you can walk with Rowan. He’s sturdy, so if you slip, just grab any of his muscles.”
“Including the one in his pants,” Leith says, and Isla slaps him on the back of the head.
“Ignore him.” Leaning against the bakeshop are two hiking sticks. Isla hands one to each girl. “These should help during the steep parts. It will be challenging, but I promise it’ll totally be worth it, especially since I packed some fresh shortbread for us for when we get to the castle.”
“Sounds great,” Dakota says, looking far more excited than Bonnie, who’s staring daggers at me as she grips her hiking stick.
How convenient that I get matched up with Bonnie. This situation smells of meddling friends who think they know better than me.
Isla waves a hand at her brothers. “Leith and Lachlan, lead the way.”
They take off, and we all file in line through an alley between the stone buildings, two by two by two, like a herd of hairy coos making our way up toward the castle.