When I looked up, I realized that Mom wasn’t yelling for me, or to get my attention.
She was standing next to Daniel, but really seemed to be yelling at herself.
“This is my own damn fault!” she said.
NINETY-ONE
Daniel
DANIEL COULD SEE PEOPLE in the immediate area looking at them.
“I know you’re upset,” Daniel said. “But your daughter just won.”
“I’ll tell her I’m happy for her later,” Maggie said. “But right now I’m allowed to be unhappy with myself.”
He had seen her lose before, knew how she reacted, the way she would vent when it was just the two of them alone afterward. Today was different. Today she was completely defeated.
“I know you don’t think this right now,” he said. “But you keep telling me that part of your dream is for both you and Becky to make the Olympic team.”
“She got closer today,” Maggie said. “I got further away.”
“You’re still going to make it,” he said.
“Not riding like this,” she said.
The section of expensive seats next to them, one of the luxury boxes, was already empty. Daniel eased Maggie in that direction. In the middle of the ring, he could see them setting up for the awards presentation. Becky was down with Jennifer Gates, who had finished third, and Matthew Killeen, who’d finished second. Even from here, Daniel could see that Becky was beaming, looking to him as if she might float away.
He felt himself smiling as he watched her, as excited for her in that moment as he could possibly be. He always wanted Maggie to win, of course. Just not as much as he wanted Becky to win. He wanted so badly to be with her. But knew it was better that she was down there and he was up here.
Maggie sat down. Daniel sat down next to her.
“Would you like something to drink?” he said. “You have not had anything since you finished your round.”
“Got a bottle of vodka handy?”
She put her head back and closed her eyes and seemed to be talking to herself.
“If they had to pick the team today, I’m out,” she said. She chuckled. “Ironic, isn’t it? I took my horse back and she just passed me on hers.”
“But that is the thing,” he said. “They are not picking the team today. And you know better than anyone that there are more factors than just the final standings.”
“Not if you’re riding like crap at the worst possible time.”
“So many of you are all just bunched together,” he said. “First place down to sixth. And they all know your record before you got hurt. And if the Olympics had been last summer, you would have gone.”
“These people have short memories!” Maggie said. “You think they didn’t see what Becky just did?”
He was choosing his words carefully, as carefully as he ever had around her, not wanting to make her feel worse than she already did. Not wanting to make a bad day for her get any worse.
“It is not just her that you have to beat,” Daniel said.
“But she is the one to beat right now!” Maggie said, the words rising out of her so hot they made Daniel think of steam.
Down in the ring they had set up the medal stand. A woman from FEI was placing Becky’s ribbon around her neck, and then another woman stepped forward to hand her a bottle of champagne. When it was time for her to receive her trophy, Becky motioned for Gus to wheel his way out and Becky handed the trophy to him.
Maggie must have been watching Daniel watch Becky. In a quiet voice now she said, “Whose side are you on, Daniel? Really?”
“I want both of you to ride your best,” he said.
“Not an answer.”
“Let me put it another way,” he said. “I am training you. I want you to get everything you want. But I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that I want both of you to make it to Paris. And I believe that the Selection Committee will want that, too, if things are close in the end, just because it will make such a good story.”
He turned to watch the ring again. Could not help himself. Saw Becky and Gus making their way out, the trophy nearly sliding off Gus’s lap as he reached up to give her an enthusiastic high-five.
Gus’s day, too, Daniel thought with more than a little regret.
Not mine.
When he turned back to Maggie, her eyes were on him.
“I’ll talk to Becky later,” she said. “But for now, could you please just take me home?”
They had come together today, his car. Maggie hung back as Becky and Gus passed underneath them. Then she and Daniel walked in the opposite direction, toward the tent.