“Why didn’t God stop me? Why didn’t He let me find out what Rutger was doing?”
“I do not know, but you were doing what you thought was right. Rutger is the one who did wrong.”
“I did wrong too. I wronged Jorgen. I wronged the margrave. I stole, and it was all for naught.”
“God knows our hearts, Odette.” Anna pulled away and looked into Odette’s eyes. “He knows your heart and your love for the poor. God knows everything.”
“Perhaps the worst part is that I told Mathis I would marry him. And Jorgen told me he thought I should marry Mathis. That I would be a fool not to.” She put her face in her hands, her tears turning cold. Jorgen didn’t care for her. How could God fix this? Did God even care about her, after what she had done?
“You must not cry so much. It will make you sick and cause an imbalance in your humors.”
Odette made an effort to stop crying, and Anna sat back in the chair. “Tell me something about you,” Odette told Anna. Odette needed to think about someone else for a change.
Anna sighed. “My two children have been sick. That is why I did not come here sooner. But they are better now.”
“I am so sorry they’ve been sick! But very glad they are well again. Did anyone else get sick?”
They talked about which servants were also sick and for how long, and all about her children’s sickness, plus several household matters. Anna took great pride in keeping her household running smoothly. And Odette told Anna all the reasons it was best if she married Mathis. Then Anna said she had to get back home.
She hugged Odette. “You do not think the margrave will put you in the dungeon? No, of course he won’t,” Anna answered her own question and shook her head. “Do not even think about such a thing. Since you are marrying Mathis, I’m sure nothing bad will happen. But if I can help with anything, please tell me.”
“Thank you, Anna. I will.” But the only person who could help her now was God Himself.
30
JORGEN ARRIVED AT Odette’s home the next morning on horseback with a second horse in tow. He dismounted and tied the horses so they would not wander off. He knocked on the door and was allowed to go up to see Odette.
“I have been sent to bring you to face the margrave.”
Odette sighed. “Let us get this over and done.”
She wore a dark-purple underdress with a lighter purple surcoat. The cutaway sides draped in folds below her hips that she had to hold up with one hand when she walked. It was beautiful, and she was beautiful in it. Her blond hair hung down her back in large curls, with a simple circlet and ribbons at her temples. She was more breathtaking than usual.
He helped her down the steps, going in front of her and letting her lean on his shoulder.
When she saw the horses, she stopped and looked at him. “The margrave sent two horses? Was he not afraid I would break away from you and escape?”
Jorgen shook his head as he untied them. “I know you would not try to run away.” He glanced at her. “I did get these horses from the margrave, but he is selling them to me.”
“You own two horses now?” She smiled at him.
Was she impressed? He wrapped his hands around her waist and lifted her into the sidesaddle, careful of her injured leg and arm.
They set out for Thornbeck Castle. While walking the horses through town, they were both silent, but every time he glanced at her to make sure she was following him and not having any difficulties, she was looking at him.
Once they had gone out the town gate and started on the road to Thornbeck Castle, Odette’s expression turned dejected, and she stared down at the horse’s neck. No doubt she was dreading having to face the margrave.
After riding in silence for a few minutes, Odette asked, “What do you think the margrave will do?”
“I do not know.” What if the margrave wanted to have her tried by a judge and executed? He would have to risk his new position as chancellor to save her. He would do anything, even lose the position he had always hoped for—even though Odette didn’t love him enough to marry him. Even though she was marrying Mathis.
He shook off these morose thoughts, for Odette’s face looked drawn and pale.
“Are you in pain?” he asked as they reached the front of the castle.
“No.”
He went to help her dismount. Odette held on to him. She didn’t meet his eyes, and she did not remove her hands from his shoulders. Instead, she seemed to be staring at his chest. Then her hands slipped around his neck and she pressed her face into his shoulder.