Even Josh gets into it. He hates cleaning his room, but this is more of a cleaning adventure. You have no idea what disgusting nugget you’re going to find around every corner. For example, in an empty garbage can in the kitchen, we find a frozen rat. It’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen, but Josh gets a real kick out of it. And Shane gets a kick out of him getting a kick out of it.
“Please get rid of that rat,” I mutter to Shane. “I don’t want him trying to take it home to show his friends.”
Shane laughs. “You definitely understand the mindset of the ten-year-old boy.”
Unfortunately, after about two hours of cleaning, we have released a fair amount of dust into the air, and Josh can’t stop sneezing. His nose turns red and his eyes are watering.
“I think you need to go outside,” I tell him. “Get some fresh air.”
“Actually,” Shane says, “we could take a walk. The woods right around here are really cool during the winter. We could even build a snowman. What do you say, Josh?”
“Sure,” Josh agrees.
I shake my head. “It’s too cold. I don’t want to wander around in the woods.”
Shane glances over at Josh and then looks back at me. “Well, I could take him myself if you want to stay behind.”
An alarm bell goes off in my head. Don’t let him do this. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”
Shane looks at me for a moment, his eyes darkening. “Why not?”
“Because it’s not safe.”
“It’s perfectly safe.” He frowns. “I used to go through these woods all the time when I was his age. By myself. And I’ll be with him—I’ll look out for him.”
“I know but—”
“I’ll keep him safe.” Shane’s face turns slightly pink. “Don’t you trust me?”
Do I?
I was the one who made sure Shane got released from prison. I invited him back into our lives. He’s my son’s father. He’s our chance at being a family again, and if I can’t trust him, I have much bigger problems than the two of them taking a walk together in broad daylight.
Josh tugs on my arm. “I want to go, Mom.”
Even Josh wants to go. The two of them are finally bonding. It would be cruel to keep it from happening.
Shane reaches into his pocket and pulls out his flip phone I bought him. He shakes it in the air. “I’ve got my phone. You can reach me if you need to. And I’ve got your number if I need you.”
“Fine,” I say. “Just be careful.”
Shane lays a hand on his chest. “I swear, I will protect him with my life.”
I believe him.
I make sure Josh puts on his hat and gloves, and Shane does the same. I walk them to the door, and I watch them step into the small wooded area next to the farmhouse. At one point, Josh slips on a patch of ice, but Shane reaches out and steadies him.
It will be fine. Shane is Josh’s father. He won’t let anything happen to him.
I go back into the farmhouse, closing the door behind me. It is getting cold out there, definitely below freezing. I bet that after ten minutes, Josh will start complaining and want to go back inside. Although he isn’t as bothered by the cold as I am. I always have had to struggle to get him to put his coat on for school, as if there’s any chance I would let him go to school in just a sweatshirt when it’s twenty degrees out. I wonder if Shane was the same way when he was a kid.
My back aches slightly from all the cleaning, so I take a minute to sit on one of the chairs we cleaned off. I dig my phone out of my coat pocket—it’s just barely getting a signal. One bar for the cell service, but I guess that’s enough. I bring up the Internet browser and hesitate for a moment before typing: Timothy Reese.