I look over at Shane again, worried he’s offended that Josh mostly just seems interested in having a snack, but he doesn’t look upset. He’s just smiling and staring at Josh like he can’t quite get over it.
“Fine,” I say. “What do you want for a snack?”
“I don’t know. What do we have?”
“You know what we have!” Oh my God, this kid can try my patience sometimes.
“When I was a kid,” Shane speaks up, “I used to love peanut butter on Ritz crackers. My mom used to make that for me all the time.”
Josh looks up at Shane, considering his suggestion. The two of them look so much alike, it gives me chills. I wonder if Josh notices. I’m sure Shane does.
“Okay,” Josh says. “I’ll have that.”
Thankfully, we have both Ritz crackers and peanut butter in the pantry—I think Margie uses them for snacks. Josh goes to play Nintendo, while Shane helps me construct the snack in the kitchen. I put the crackers on the plate, and he covers them in peanut butter. It’s not exactly a two-person job, but it gives us a chance to talk.
“I’m sorry he was kind of rude,” I say.
“No way.” Shane beams at me. “He liked my suggestion. That was great. Also…” He lowers his voice. “He reminds me a lot of myself at that age.”
“I know—he looks a lot like you.”
“Not just that.” He casts a glance over his shoulder. “There’s something about him. His personality. He just… it makes me think of what I used to be like at that age.”
I don’t want to disagree with Shane, but internally, I am shaking my head. Josh is not like Shane. I didn’t know Shane that well before we started dating, but everyone knew Shane Nelson was wild. Josh isn’t that way at all. He’s shy and sweet and has never once started trouble at school.
“Why don’t you go play Nintendo with him?” I suggest.
Shane’s eyes light up. “Yeah?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“I used to play at friends’ houses when I was a kid…” Of course, the Nelsons could not afford Nintendo. They could barely afford to keep the lights on. “You think he would want me to?”
“He definitely would.”
I finish making the Ritz crackers snack myself while Shane goes into the living room to join Josh. I can just barely see them, and I can’t hear anything they’re saying, but it looks like it’s going well. Shane leans over Josh, talking to him. Then he settles down on the couch next to him.
After ten years, Josh is finally spending time with his father. I can’t wait to tell him the truth.
Chapter 46
While Shane and Josh are playing Nintendo, my phone rings with a number I don’t recognize.
When Tim was first arrested, I learned not to answer the phone if I didn’t recognize the number. Mostly, it was reporters on the other line, desperate for a firsthand account of my experience both eleven years ago and over the last few months. They offered me mind-boggling amounts of cash to tell my story, but I always refused. It’s bad enough I’ll have to testify at Tim’s trial—I have no desire to relive it with a reporter and then see my story smeared all over the news and the internet. Not to mention it would increase the chances of Josh finding out the truth.
And then there were the haters who used to call me. People who were furious with me for sending an innocent man to jail. For falling in love with a man who turned out to be a killer. I had to change my email address because my inbox was flooded every day with angry messages and even threats. I changed my phone number too, but it didn’t help. If someone truly wants to reach you, there’s always a way.