“I’m so sorry. I really am,” Tom said. He meant it. That poor woman. It was awful. But…but that wasn’t the issue now. The issue was what to do next.
Danny stood. His eyes were red and vacant. He pointed a finger at Tom. “You killed her!”
Tom nodded. “It was an accident. And I’m sorry. But I—I take full responsibility.”
“That’s not enough!” Danny yelled.
“Steady on, mate. We’ve agreed. You missed the meeting. We all agreed and Ma decided,” Matt said.
“Did you decide, Ma? Without me?” Danny said in a faraway monotone.
“I did. We decided. It’s for the best,” Ma replied firmly.
Danny walked over to Tom and poked him in the chest.
“I’m very sorry,” Tom said softly.
“Sorry, are you? Sorry!” Danny’s face was contorted with rage and grief. His eyes were slits of dark fury. Spittle ran down his chin. “And you’ve agreed, have you?” Danny said, still prodding Tom in the chest. “This rich bastard runs over my Ellen, an innocent who wouldn’t harm a fly. All I have in the world. And you’ve agreed that we don’t do anything about it?”
“I’m really devastated by what’s happened. She just came out of nowhere, I—” Tom began. Danny shoved him hard in the chest. Tom tripped over his own feet and fell. Danny attempted to kick him but Matt wrapped Danny up in his big arms and lifted him off the ground.
“Ma made the call, mate!” Matt said.
Tom warily got to his feet.
“You can’t decide nothing without me!” Danny screamed. “Look at her! Look what he done to her! She was beautiful. She was all I had. What am I going to do?”
“Mate, calm down, it’s going to be all right,” Matt insisted.
“How! How is it?” Danny yelled. “What about his wife? What if I do something to her?”
“No. This has nothing to do with my wife. This has nothing to do with my family. I was driving the car. This is on me,” Tom said.
“On you?”
“On me,” Tom said.
“Right, OK, OK, I understand,” Danny said, calmer now. “Put me down, Matt. It’s OK, put me down, mate.”
Matt cautiously released his grip and Danny dropped to the ground.
“Nothing can bring back Ellen. Nothing. This is what’s for the best,” Matt said.
“I understand,” Danny said. “I went out and got a job and got a wife. And you lot do nothing but sit here smoking and bitching and knocking back the grog in your trackies. And you scumbags are deciding for me?”
He went back to Ellen’s body and kissed her and held her. He took something out of his pocket. A crucifix, Tom thought, as he saw it glint in the moonlight.
No, it wasn’t a crucifix, it was a…
“Look out!” Heather yelled as Danny turned, ran at Tom, and stabbed the knife into him with such force that it nearly knocked him off his feet.
Heather screamed.
“Huhh,” Tom said as the knife penetrated deep into his right side.
“Jesus! What have you done!” Tom heard Matt yelling.
“He got what was coming to him,” Danny yelled back.
Danny pulled back the knife to stab Tom again. Before he could do it, Heather was on his back, scrambling to get her tied hands around his throat.
She has fight in her, that one, Tom thought as his legs gave way and he fell to the ground like a destringed marionette.
The ground was warm. Comforting.
The view from here was of feet and sideways farm buildings.
Heather was a tiny little thing, and Danny was, by comparison, a big man. It wasn’t a fair fight, but Ivan and Matt were stepping in.
“You bloody arsehole!” Ivan was saying.
Danny was yelling something back.
The voices were fading. Everything was fading.
The fields.
The falling stars.
The sickle moon dissolving into vapor above the Earth.
His eyes were heavy.
Four thoughts went through his failing consciousness. Four thoughts that were four words: Judith.
Heather.
Olivia.
Owen.
He tried to surf the now but it was so hard; the now kept slipping between his fingers.
He felt a spasm of worry, anxiety, fear.
Regrets.
Mistakes.
The day was cooling.
The earth was warm.
When he closed his eyes, the world disappeared completely.
He couldn’t feel his fingertips.
He couldn’t feel his legs.
And then there was no “he” to feel anything at all.