His ex-wife is pacing the path, her breath clouding in the cold air.
‘Why didn’t you come up?’
Allie points to the car, parked in the disabled bay adjacent to the block of flats. ‘Unlike some people, I take responsibility for my son.’
‘You could have brought him up.’ Leo takes a step towards the car, a grin spreading across his face as Harris smooshes his own smile across the window.
Allie puts out a hand, firm against Leo’s chest. ‘I don’t want him hearing this.’
Leo sighs. ‘What have I done this time?’ He isn’t sure how much more of this he can take. A few months ago, he’d nipped to Tesco for a sandwich, only to be served three days later with a notice knocked up by Allie’s solicitor friend, threatening legal action if Leo ‘continues to harass our client or her partner’。 Leo hadn’t even seen Dominic in the supermarket, let alone given him the ‘threatening look’ referred to in the letter, but Allie always did take a liberal approach to the facts.
Before she can answer, the car door opens, and Harris barrels out. ‘Daddy!’
Leo crouches as Harris flies into his arms, then stands and spins around, Harris’s arms tight around his neck. ‘Hey, little man! How’s it hanging?’
‘I told you to stay in the car,’ Allie snaps.
Leo’s chest is tight. He got to be a dad for a single year. One year of bedtimes and bathtimes, of getting Harris dressed and deciding what to do with their weekends. Now he’s doled out dad-time in the same practical, unemotional manner he’s allocated shifts at work. It feels like a bereavement.
‘Can I have a snack?’
‘Back in the car, Harris. I need to talk to your dad.’ Allie pulls him from Leo, who has to resist the urge to pull back. Parenting isn’t a tug of war.
‘Go on, chief.’ Leo kisses his son fiercely on the forehead and lets Allie strap him back into his seat.
‘We’re moving,’ she says, when she returns.
‘Where to?’
‘Australia.’
Leo blinks. A car drove past, just as Allie spoke, and for a second he thought she’d said . . .
‘We’re sick of England.’ Allie fiddles with her car keys. ‘Brexit, house prices, the bloody rain . . . Dominic’s got a job offer, great prospects, and we’ve found a house with an annexe. Mum and Dad are going to spend half the year with us, half back home.’
‘You can’t.’
It’s as simple as that, surely? Legally, Leo has joint parental responsibility. Allie can’t take their son to another country.
‘It’s an incredible opportunity for Harris to experience a completely different lifestyle.’
‘But I won’t be able to see him.’
‘You can use the annexe, when my parents aren’t there. And when Harris is old enough he can fly on his own.’
‘Are you actually insane? “Use the annexe”？ What, for those six months of annual leave I get? Even if I save all my holiday allowance, even if I spend a month every year in Australia – bloody Australia! – that’s eleven months of the year when I don’t get to see my son.’
‘There’s Zoom.’
‘Jesus, Allie.’ Leo sweeps a hand across his face. ‘How can I have a relationship with my—’
‘Relationship?’ Allie’s shouting now, and Leo glances towards the car. ‘You hardly even see him now!’
‘Because you don’t let me!’ Leo makes himself calm down – the last thing he wants is for Harris to hear them arguing. He speaks quietly. ‘I’ll take you to court over this.’
‘I’m sure they’ll be very interested to hear what a devoted father you are.’ Allie swipes purposefully at her phone and Leo turns away. He knows what’s coming, and he doesn’t want to hear it. The communal door slams behind him, but not before Allie’s pressed play on the voice note, and Leo has been forced once again to hear the soundtrack of his nightmares.
‘Daddy left me. I’m all on my own and it’s really dark. I’m scared, Mummy, please come and get me. I’m so scared . . .’
Leo doesn’t need the sound file to hear his son’s cries. He hears them all the time. He hears them at night, when he can’t sleep; at work, when he looks at the photo of Harris on his desk.
He hears them now, as he drives towards Wales, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. He has two options. Either he lets Allie take Harris to Australia, or she finally drops the sword she’s dangled over him for the last year. Either way, he’s going to lose his son.