“Okay.”
They stared at each other. Hailey blinked away the tears that threatened. It was fine if he didn’t love her back but did that mean he never would? He was the one who brought up their future.
Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she asked, “Just out of curiosity, where do you see this going?”
Wes pulled his hands out of his pockets, a V forming between his brows. “I don’t like that question.”
Hailey’s laugh felt like acid in her throat. “I’m not particularly enjoying this conversation so I guess we’re even.”
He let out a frustrated sound. “Things are great between us. Why do we have to do this?”
“Wes, you got your mom to buy my building because you were worried about my rent. But you’re mad because I love you?”
Shock registered in his expression. “You said it was a slip!” He pointed at her.
“Yeah, as in, I shouldn’t have said it out loud.” The buckle of her purse was digging into the spot between her breasts but she only held tighter.
“But you love me?” He sounded … heartbroken.
What the actual hell? “I can’t help how I feel.” At least, not to the extent he clearly could.
“Of course you can. We both can.” He closed the distance between them. “We’re a great match. We make each other laugh, we’re attracted to each other, we enjoy each other’s company. Can’t that be enough?”
“You’ll never love me?”
His gaze answered before his mouth. “I don’t want to be in love. I don’t want to get married or have children.”
Her throat went dry. She wanted all of those things. She nodded her head, up and down, up and down, like the movement could absorb the pain of his words.
Wes gripped her shoulders. “That doesn’t mean we can’t be together. I want to be with you. So much.”
“I’m not asking for declarations or promises but I don’t know if I can just go forward knowing you never want those things with me.”
“It’s not you. It’s those things I don’t want. We can be—we are happy together.”
Pain radiated through her body with the truth of what he was saying. “I can’t be in another relationship where I’m the only one who’s willing to give. Who’s willing to fall all the way. I told you this.”
He dropped his hands but Hailey wasn’t done. “Wes, you’re scared. I think you care about me more than you want to. Isn’t it possible that you’re just afraid to admit how you really feel? To me and to yourself?” His behavior, his words—not at this particular moment but usually—suggested that he could love her. That he might already.
Wes stared at her like she’d lost her mind. “You don’t make any sense. You sell salads but eat sugar, you’d give the shirt off your back to anyone but get mad when I step up to help, you’ve been on the wrong side of love but still throw the word around like a na?ve person who doesn’t know any better.”
Hailey tossed her purse to the couch and stepped into his space. She wanted to touch him, pull him close, make him feel what she felt. Instead, she worked to gentle her tone. “Believing in love doesn’t make me na?ve. It makes me brave. The fact that I was hurt makes me stronger, more sure of what I want. I’m not afraid to ask for it or want it. You think you can slot everything into its own box but life doesn’t work like that. I don’t work like that.”
“You’re supposed to learn from your mistakes,” he said haughtily.
All gentleness fled. Hailey’s heart fell right down to her shoes. She squared her shoulders. “Screw you, Wes. I did learn. I learned that I’d rather get hurt again than be too damn scared to feel anything real. All the money, the investments, the control over your feelings you’re so proud of? Those things seem safe but playing it that way makes you a coward. If you can’t give yourself completely, let yourself fall even if it means you break, you’ll never be truly happy. And if you can’t at least try, we aren’t going to work out.”
His hand clenched and unclenched. She saw the tightness in his stance, the coldness in his gaze. “I hate to be the one to tell you this but love and happiness rarely go hand in hand.”
He walked out before she could ask him to go. When the door closed behind him, Hailey stood there, wondering how the hell everything had changed. She didn’t realize she was crying until the tears fell to her chest, rolling along her skin. She continued to stand there, frozen. What had she said to him? That she’d rather hurt than not try? Well, you tried.