“B and C might get us killed, yes. But there’s got to be an explanation for A. The Legion wouldn’t just leave—”
“Void, Rake,” he spat, his anger flaring again. “What don’t you get about this? I’m so sick of tiptoeing around this blind devotion.” A swell of sudden determination hardened his expression, and he pointed a stiff finger at his flank. “These scars—and yeah, I saw you worrying on them earlier—”
Heat rose to her face, but she kept her glare locked on him.
“—where do you think they came from? Viators, Drudgers? I was safely tucked away on a capital ship the entire war, Rake.”
“How am I supposed to know where the fuck they came from, Jack? You’ve never told me a damn thing about what you did before the war. Do you know how many times I’ve tried to get you to even tell me why you’re here?”
His scowl deepened, voice lowering. “I can’t tell you why I’m here; that’s the whole damn point.”
“What?”
“If I did, and they found out I told you—”
“Who?”
“—then they’d know I give a shit about you, and you’d be next.”
“Next for what?” she said, but her question went unheard as Jackin’s haunted gaze drifted toward the door.
“Especially now,” he mumbled, “with that kid here … It’s a good thing I never told you.”
“Cavalon? What the hell does he have to do with this?”
“I hope nothing. I really fucking hope nothing.”
“What? You think he’s a spy for the Allied Monarchies?”
“I wouldn’t put anything past Augustus Mercer, Rake,” he said. “And you shouldn’t either.”
A hard lump rose to the back of her throat as she stared at the fury in her optio’s eyes. But it wasn’t the blind, lack-of-sleep anger it’d first appeared to be. Jackin was scared.
“The noble Legion you’re so devoted to,” Jackin continued, “they don’t give a shit about us. The sooner you wrap your head around that, the better off we’ll all be.”
She stood silently for a few long minutes. “Jack, I…” She looked down. “I’m sorry for what happened to you. And I understand if you can’t tell me.”
He stared vacantly at the console, head bobbing slowly.
“Just know that, if you ever need it, you have my confidence. Always. You can trust me.”
His bloodshot eyes darted over, urgent to meet hers. But he re mained silent, the muscles in his jaw twitching with unsaid words. After a time, he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry for yelling, boss. I’m a bit sleep-deprived.”
“I know. But don’t be sorry. You’re right. I’ve been on the extreme side of caution with all this. It’s just a lot to take in.”
“I know.”
“We’ve got the Drudgers’ ship now, at least. If we can get the gate turned on, we can get everyone back to the Core. Then we’ll worry about this … Viator situation later. Do you know how to restart the gate?”
He dragged his fingers through his short beard and groaned. “No fucking clue. They don’t exactly get shut off on a regular basis. Or, ever.”
“Just see what you can do.”
“Copy.” He sat at the terminal and opened new menus, punching out commands with sharp impatience. “You might as well take a breather, boss. I’m sure that kid’ll have some hoops to jump through before he gets a hold of Lugen. This could take a while.”