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The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School(133)

Author:Sonora Reyes

“What are you all smiley about?” Mom asks.

“I don’t know. I missed you guys.”

Mom reaches out and grabs one of my hands and one of Cesar’s and squeezes. “I missed this.”

I expect Cesar to get all embarrassed and change the subject, but he doesn’t.

“Me too.” He lays his head down on my mom’s hand and closes his eyes, like her hand is a pillow. His lips turn up a little. Mom leans over the table to kiss his forehead, then kisses mine.

“I have something for you,” she says to me as she pulls something out of her pocket. “It’s not an iPhone, but I need to be able to get ahold of you.” She hands me a dinosaur phone that matches Cesar’s. The first thing I do with it is take a picture of the three of us to use as my new background. I tear up looking at it. I may not have my dad, but I have Mami and Cesar, and they’re all I need.

We spend an hour using jewelry as an excuse to catch up. On small stuff, mostly. How Mom’s work is going. How Cesar is catching up with schoolwork. How I like my job with Emma. But I’m a little distracted. By two things.

First, because of the art show, obviously. But also because of my parents. What is going to happen with them? Is Mami going to forgive Dad for what he did? Because I honestly don’t know if I ever can.

I end up just blurting out the question, since I’m super over keeping things bottled up. “So what’s going to happen with you and Papi?”

Mami hesitates before letting out a sigh. “Until he wants to have a relationship with his children, nothing.”

“You’re okay with that?” Cesar asks, incredulous.

I almost can’t believe it. I didn’t think my mom loved anyone more than my dad.

She squeezes his shoulder. “Listen. Your father has been the love of my life. But . . . I just don’t know how to love someone who doesn’t know how to love my children.”

I like how she says “my” children. She’s the only parent that matters.

“Anyways, enough sad talk. It’s a big day, mija. Are you ready?” she asks me, wiping tears away and smiling.

“Nope!” I keep my eyes on the earrings. Honestly, that’s a lie.

I’m using the art show to ask Bo to prom, and I couldn’t be more ready. Getting approval from a teacher on the promposal makes it a lot less intimidating. No one at this school has tried to go as a gay couple before, even though there’s no rule against it. I checked. Twice.

“She’s lying. She’s been ready for this since she met Bo.” Cesar laughs, and I shoot him a look. But he’s right.

As we talk, I find myself making earrings for Bo. I don’t know if she even likes earrings, but it’s fun making them with her in mind. They’re cute enough that if she hates them, I’ll keep them for myself. If she says yes, I’ll give them to her before prom.

I look up to find Cesar staring at the bracelet he’s not bothering to make.

“You okay, dude?” I slip in the “dude” to lighten the mood a little. Still, it takes him a while to answer. Mami and I have our eyes trained on him, waiting for whatever it is he might say, and I can see how this might be a little intimidating.

“Can I see a different therapist?” Cesar finally asks.

“Why?” Mom’s hands stop moving, and I can tell she’s trying to keep her voice calm.

“I’m not feelin’ it.”

“Well, maybe it takes a little getting used to.” Her hand stutters, but she starts working again.

“I’m pretty sure I’m the only bi guy this lady has ever met. I’d rather not spend my sessions educating her.”