I end the video and let out a deep sigh. I don’t want to be alone right now, so I go to find Bo. She’s lying on the couch on her phone, a few hair wispies escaping her messy bun. She looks even cuter in a messy bun than I ever could have imagined. I picture her resting her messy bun-head in my lap while I tame the wispies for her. Even though she’s right in front of me, the thought makes me feel lonely. I can’t just go around playing with a taken girl’s hair wispies.
It hits me then that Bo’s been alone most of break so far too. Maybe Cesar was right, and she doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore? No, no, no, Bo would have told me if they broke up. She’s not like Cesar. Maybe she hasn’t invited her over because of me? I wonder if my being here would make it awkward to have her over.
“You should invite Jamie over.” I sit on the other couch. Why am I encouraging this? I hate it, but maybe it’ll help me get over Bo if I have to see her with her girlfriend. Then again, maybe they want their alone time. “I have my mom’s car, so I can go somewhere and leave you guys alone. If you want.” Bo’s face drops, and she looks almost sad. Crap. Maybe she and Jamie did break up, and I’ve just reopened the wound.
She sighs. “Jamie’s out of town to stay with her parents for break, unfortunately.”
Oh. “I’m sorry. That sucks.” For both of us.
Bo sinks into the couch, and I feel bad for bringing her down. I hate how weird this conversation feels now.
“So what’s it like dating a college girl?” Part of me asks because I want to cheer her up, but the other part is just curious. I’m guessing Jamie is with her family over break instead of staying in the Arizona State dorms. I wonder if Bo is worried about what will happen with them when she graduates.
“She’s only a year older, so it’s not that weird.”
“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that! I was just curious.”
“You’re good.”
Now we’re sitting in awkward silence, and I can’t figure out how to change the subject. Bo’s whole mood changed when I brought Jamie up. She must really miss her. I’m totally not jealous. The silence between me and Bo right now makes me completely not jealous of how she probably doesn’t have awkward silences like this with Jamie. I miss my mom’s cumbia music filling the quiet. I even miss Do?a Violeta’s weepy music. How am I supposed to cheer myself up if there’s no music?
“Don’t you guys ever listen to music?” I ask. Bo listens to her headphones sometimes, but there’s never music playing out loud. I don’t have headphones, so I sort of hate when she has them on instead of sharing her music with me.
“What? Of course we do.”
“Do you have a rule against playing it in the house or something?” I’m not trying to be sarcastic. I genuinely don’t know if there’s some bigger reason they don’t play it.
“Um, no?”
“Well then, do you have a speaker or something? I’m having withdrawals.”
“Yeah! One sec.” Bo hops off the couch and goes to her room. She comes back out with a Bluetooth speaker. She puts it on the table and sets it up with her phone. “What do you want to listen to?”
“You can pick. I just need some noise in here.”
“You have to promise you won’t make fun of me.”
“Promise.” I doubt her playlist could be cheesier than mine—a random mix of Disney music, reggaetón, cumbia, and musical soundtracks.
“Actually, you know what? If you can honestly tell me this doesn’t make you want to dance, then you can make fun of me. But that’s not gonna happen,” she says. I don’t know how, but she got me feeling better before even starting the music.