“You don’t.”
“My wife didn’t talk to me for three years. She probably still shouldn’t. But for some people—in this case, for Nola—things just move slower than you want. But remember what you asked me when we were headed to Elijah’s? Who are you at your core? The answer doesn’t come from a single moment—and it certainly doesn’t come from a third party.”
“She’s my twin sister.”
“I don’t care if she’s Mother Teresa. The definition of you does not come from someone else. Especially her. I mean it. You don’t need Nola Brown to figure out who you are. You saved my life twice, Roddy—at risk to your own. You’re a good cop—and a good person as well.”
Roddy cocked his head, looking unconvinced.
“There’s a saying, Roddy: If gold rusts, then what can iron do?”
“I’m not sure what that means. Are you saying I’m iron?”
“We’re all iron. And in those rare moments when we’re gold . . . even then, we’re not perfect. We’re all a mess of failures and good intentions. Cut yourself some slack. When Nola’s ready, she’ll come around.”
“She’s never coming around.”
“You’re right. She may never come around,” Zig agreed. “But trust me on this, when it comes to forgiveness, you can’t give it to anyone until you give it to yourself.”
“Mhmm,” Roddy said, letting Zig’s words roll through his brain, still staring up at Jeopardy! “I like that iron and gold part. You get that from Facebook?”
“The Canterbury Tales. It’s like the original Facebook, but with paper. And actual wisdom,” Zig said, patting Roddy on the shoulder, like he was getting ready to leave.
“Y’know, Mr. Zig, there’s still one last thing I don’t understand.”
“About the case?”
“About Nola,” Roddy said, glancing over at Zig, watching his reaction, noticing Zig was now the one locked on Jeopardy! “Back when Mint first got shot, Nola rushed to the scene instantly. And she stayed committed to the case. That’s a really good friend, don’t you think?”
“I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”
“Just asking an honest question: When this started, I assumed Nola had a personal stake—that she was worried for her own life, or that something bad from her past was about to come out. But in the end, the reason she put herself at risk— It was just her friendship with Mint? That’s why she was so concerned with everything?”
“Looks like that to me.”
“And your friend Waggs agrees? She didn’t tell you something different?”
Zig stood there, the balloons swaying slightly next to him. “That’s all I know, Roddy. Though as far as I can tell, no one’s really an expert on Nola.”
For half a second, Roddy sat there, tempted to say something, but instead went with, “You’re probably right.” Up on the TV, one of the contestants punched the air, celebrating his correct answer for the second Daily Double.
“No sponge baths today—no matter how many times you ask,” a nurse named Jarrika announced, shoving open the door. She was wiry, with wide eyes, a warm smile, and stray gray hairs like veins.
“Listen, I should get running,” Zig said, spotting her rolling cart, which held a pink plastic basin filled with soapy water. Time to change the colostomy bag. “I’ll speak to you later in the week,” Zig added, heading for the door and flashing a thumbs-up.
Roddy gave his own thumbs-up, but he knew the truth. You have a good life, he thought as the door slowly shut and Zig disappeared.