“But that would mean—”
“Yes. I understand.”
“But it wouldn’t just be Dr. Apter, it would be you and Emeraldine too.”
“I am well aware. This is my mess, and I’m going to clean it up. Thank you for your time, Mr. Warren.” Ruth hung up. She tried to inhale, but her chest was so tight she was barely able to take in any breath. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. There was only one other moment in her life when she had felt so alone, the day she went to the hospital for her daily visit with Harry and discovered that, just hours before, he had taken his life. She had been the one to tell her parents, weeping in solitude while they comforted one another.
Get ahold of yourself, Ruth. This was not the same. She wasn’t alone. She picked up the receiver again, dialing feverishly.
“Dr. Wilkinson’s answering service.”
Ruth was crestfallen; she was desperate to speak to Edward, to hear the comfort of his calm voice. The reason of his words. She wanted him to give her the strength that she feared she wouldn’t have on her own. But he wasn’t there. She would have to do this by herself.
“Hello, yes. This is Ruth Apter calling. Will you please tell Ed—Dr. Wilkinson to return my call as soon as possible. It’s urgent. Please let him know to call me at my home. Thank you.”
It wasn’t prudent to linger in Robert’s office any longer. She scanned Robert’s desk for his calendar and quickly found the names of the hospitals he planned to visit in California. Then she picked up the Orenbluth file, shut out the lights, and went back to the house.
As she sat down at her desk in the study, preparing to call the hospitals in California, she had a flashback to that cold day nearly two decades before. It was here, in this very room, that Robert first had the idea to bring lobotomy to America.
How fitting then that it would also be here where she would finally put an end to his use of it once and for all.
Chapter Forty-Six
Ruth was just finishing a call with the fourth hospital Robert was scheduled to visit in California when the sound of a man’s voice made her jump. The sun had set, but in the glow of dusk, she saw Robert’s car through the window.
He was back.
She quickly put Robert’s files in the desk drawer as he entered.
“Ruth? Ruth? Are you in here?” He looked a mess. His hair was unkempt, and he had a gentleness to his face that Ruth hadn’t seen in a long time. Her heart softened. “I’m sorry, am I disturbing you?”
“No, it’s all right. I’m surprised to see you. But pleased.” She smiled at him awkwardly.
“I apologize for storming off the other night. I’ve been going over and over it in my head, and I just can’t make sense of it all. Can we try to talk again?” He crossed the room to the leather wingback and tentatively sat down.
“I would like that. To talk like we used to. Like two people who love and respect each other and are only motivated by the best interests of our patients.” Was it possible that it wasn’t too late? Had he seen reason?
“I don’t believe I’ve ever spoken to you any other way.”
“Robert. I cannot forget our conversation, if you can call it that, the other night. But I realize that I caught you off guard. You know I wasn’t trying to criticize you. I was trying to reconnect with you.”
“Well, you certainly have an odd way of reconnecting.” His voice quickly sharpened and made her uneasy.
She walked from her desk and sat down next to him, hoping to seem less confrontational. “Please, we’ve been such wonderful partners for so many years. Can we not be partners like that again?” As she looked at this man, whom she had loved so utterly and completely for so many years, she couldn’t help but harbor a flicker of hope.