“And . . . everything.” She raised her glass in Frank’s direction and encouraged the children to lift their cups of milk. “A toast. To my wonderful family. And a perfectly regular family dinner!”
“To nothing, and everything.” Frank beamed.
“Nothing and everything!! Nothing and everything!!” Maisy and John sang.
“Well, that was a wonderful evening!” Frank said kindly as he tentatively slid his arms around Margaret’s waist. But instead of stiffening, which had been her instinct every time he had tried to touch her since William was born, she softened into him. She continued to wash the dishes, while she luxuriated in the soft kiss he placed on the top of her head, relaxed into his comforting smell, relished the weight of his body pressed against hers. She had planned to talk to him about the exciting news from her appointment with Dr. Apter, but her body suddenly yearned for something different. She hadn’t had any desire to be touched by her husband in so long, she needed to indulge it.
“Everyone asleep?” she asked seductively, placing the last pot on the drying rack.
“In fact, they are.” Frank eyed her cautiously. She knew he would never make the first move these days. She had read plenty about the fragile male ego in Ladies’ Home Journal and she had rebuffed him so many times already.
“Perhaps we should make our way to bed too?” she said with a devious smile as she sashayed out of the kitchen, hoping Frank would follow.
Rummaging in the back of the closet, she found the sheer silk chemise and matching feather-trimmed robe that Frank had purchased for her several years ago. “Are you in bed?” she called out, desperate to seize this opportunity before the feeling went away again. Oh, how she missed actually yearning for her husband. Getting lost in his perfect muscular arms. Tasting the sweetness of his mouth. Smelling the musk that emanated from him as he began to sweat.
Tonight, she thought she might never have been more eager. And as they began to move together, and he caressed her soft middle, her drooping breasts, she didn’t feel ashamed. When he sat up and grabbed her waist, whispering, “You are so beautiful,” she even believed him a little bit.
Afterward, they lay together in serene silence, her head on Frank’s strong, damp chest. He stroked her gently, and then whispered, “I’ve missed you, Mags. I love you so much.”
The deep relief in his voice was clear and, suddenly, this simple phrase told her everything she needed to know. She couldn’t risk the darkness creeping back in. She had to stay this woman for her marriage. For her children.
“Frank.” She propped herself up on her elbows and looked at him. “I want to do something. It is a little bit scary, but Dr. Apter says it will help. Cure me. It’s an easy procedure really, in and out in an hour, he says. I think I should do it.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Ruth shut the door to her office. As a general rule, she preferred to have it open, a signal to her staff that she was available as needed. But, right now, she required privacy and concentration. Jeremy Mandrake had finally finished his report, and now, on her desk sat a thick folder. As she put on her reading glasses, she chided herself for not having done this sooner. She was generally thorough and diligent about monitoring everything at the hospital. But with her bumpy start as head of Emeraldine and then with Moniz winning the Nobel . . . lobotomy had become so widely accepted that she had simply stopped following up on the recipients. She was nervous. She opened the report to the succinct summary of findings and read hungrily. What had he concluded?
Study conducted across 400 patients . . . variety of conditions prior to lobotomy, most commonly those who failed to respond to other treatments . . . overall finding is that baseline condition improved by lobotomy.
Improved! Ruth breathed a sigh of relief. She began to feel her pulse return to normal as she turned to the data.
OVERVIEW OF RESULTS