慠eally? I thought he seemed older. But, seriously, I don抰 think there抯 any harm in him. He抯 just a bit sad and a bit intense. We抳e all been there.?
Ruth definitely knows what it抯 like to be eighteen and intense. She thinks of the days when she was dating Daniel, reading The Brothers Karamazov in the library and dreaming of escape. Life for Janet, pre-transition, must have been difficult in ways that Ruth can抰 even imagine. Maybe she抯 being a bit hard on Joe. After all, it抯 his business what he puts on his walls. She decides to change the subject.
慔ave you found somewhere to live??she says. 慦hen we last spoke you said you had to move out of your flat.?
慪es, I抳e found somewhere.?Janet gives a little laugh.
慖s it in the centre of town??
慜h yes,?says Janet. 慏ead centre.?
Isn抰 that the punchline of a joke? Janet doesn抰 seem to want to explain so, after a few minutes?desultory chat, Ruth says goodbye and rings off.
Chapter 23
The trouble with lockdown, thinks Ruth, is that the even璱ngs are so long. Kate has finished Hogwarts by five and is wandering around the room, picking things up and sighing. Flint is not much better. He keeps standing on Ruth抯 keyboard and inserting the letters 憄pppooootttt?into her comments column. Ruth gives up. She switches on the news and learns that Boris Johnson has tested positive for Covid. His statement says that he抯 working from home and 慶ontinuing to lead the national fightback against coronavirus? Fightback sounds as if the battleground is even, instead of the virus having all the weapons. Ruth hopes the Prime Minister recovers quickly. There抯 something frightening about the leader of the country being taken ill, whether you voted for him or not. She turns the radio off.
Ruth pours herself a glass of wine and contemplates supper. Should she make some for Nelson? What did he mean by 憀ater? She doesn抰 think she抯 ever cooked for him before and has no doubt that she will show up badly compared to Michelle抯 culinary skills. She always imagines Michelle putting perfect meals in front of Nelson, like a 1950s housewife. Well, things are a little different chez Ruth. She decides to cook a bolognaise sauce which can be heated up later with fresh pasta if necessary. Flint comes in to remind her that he likes uncooked mince. She cooks it for him all the same.
While the sauce is cooking, Ruth takes her wine into the garden. She doesn抰 want to join Kate in front of Pointless and she feels too restless to read. When she was at work, she would buy the Guardian from the campus bookstore and do the quick crossword in the evening. A daily newspaper is one of the minor casualties of lockdown. Ruth sits on the doorstep and watches Flint prowling through the long grass. She thinks of Eileen alone, or almost alone, in the empty halls of residence. She imagines Joe抯 locked room ?she is sure that Nelson will have shoulder-barged the door ?the dust covering every surface, the photographs on the noticeboard. Photographs of her. A shrine, Nelson said. The word gives Ruth a slight shiver, one that seems to be echoed in the breeze ruffling the leaves of the apple tree. She thinks of Walsingham, England抯 Nazareth, a place of pilgrimage since the eleventh century, the Anglican shrine, the Slipper Chapel, the archway of the ruined monastery. She remembers a woman抯 body being found under that same archway. Shrines aren抰 always healthy places.
According to Janet, Joe thought of Ruth as a 憁other figure? If he抯 about twenty （Ruth thinks he抯 slightly older than the other first years but it抯 hard to tell with the beard） then, biologically, it抯 perfectly possible. Even so, the words seem suddenly sinister. Presumably the Virgin Mary was a mother figure for the pilgrims at Walsingham. But not everyone worships their mother.
It抯 almost dark now, the sky navy blue behind the trees. The security light comes on as Flint appears, tightrope walking along the fence. Zoe抯 voice floats into the twilight. 慏erek, De-rek.?She must be anxious about her cat, unused as he is to the outside world. Ruth wonders whether to call out to her neighbour, to say that she抯 sure Derek is fine, but somehow she doesn抰 feel like talking. It抯 a comfort to know that there抯 someone on the other side of the fence though. A woman and a cat. The perfect combination.