She tried to eat the biscuits slowly and kept the apple until later. She ate every bit, pips and all, but now she is starving, her stomach aching. In a way, she relishes the sensation. At least it proves she is still alive. At one time in the night ?if it was night, everything is night here ?she wondered if she wasn抰 already dead. Opening her eyes didn抰 help at all. She ended up pinching her arm until the pain made her believe that she was alive. But now, she wonders again. Is she in the afterlife? If so, she has definitely taken the turning with the goats and the sinners and is in The Bad Place.
Will he come and feed her again? If not, then she will certainly die, hungry and alone. She thinks of that story, The Grey Lady. She starved to death but, before the end, she had been so desperate that she had started to eat her dead parents. Without warning, she is retching. There抯 nothing much to throw up but, afterwards, as she is kneeling on the stone floor, she thinks: This is the lowest point in my life.
And then the grille opens.
Judy is expecting Nelson抯 call. She抯 only surprised that it took him until ten thirty to ring. There抯 no change, she tells him. Cathbad has been 慽ntubated? whatever that means. In the words of the ICU nurse, 慼e抯 critical but stable?
慡table must be good, surely??says Nelson.
慖 don抰 know,?says Judy. 慖 don抰 know anything any more.?
She can sense Nelson抯 frustration from the other end of the phone. He wants to do something, to drive to the hospital and make Cathbad better. But there抯 nothing anyone can do. Judy can抰 even go and sit at her partner抯 bedside. She thinks of Little Nell, of Beth dying in Little Women. Even these Victorian tearjerkers could not imagine a time when people had to suffer and die alone.
慔e抣l pull through,?says Nelson. 慔e抯 tough.?
慡o everyone keeps saying,?says Judy.
慏o you remember when he went into the dream world to rescue me when I was ill??
慔e said that抯 what he did,?says Judy. As she remembers it, Nelson has always dismissed this story as 憉tter bollocks?
慖 saw him,?says Nelson now. 慖 saw him when I was in a coma. And Erik too. I抳e never told Cathbad that. We talked about murmuration.?
The world has gone mad, thinks Judy. Cathbad is dying and the boss has turned into Mystic Meg.
慣rust to the flow,?says Nelson. 慣hat抯 what he told me. He抣l be OK. I抦 sure of it.?Then, with an abrupt change of gear, 慫oe Hilton didn抰 come home last night. She抯 not at work either. I went to the surgery this morning.?
How does he know Zoe didn抰 come home last night? thinks Judy.
慏id they know at the surgery??she says. 慣hat Zoe was Dawn Stainton??
慪es,?says Nelson. 慡he was very straight with them apparently. I spoke to Dr Patel.?
慠ita? I like her. She comes to Cathbad抯 yoga classes.?
慡he sent her best to him,?says Nelson. 慉nd to you.?
慣hat抯 nice of her,?says Judy. 態ut if Dawn ?Zoe ?was innocent and they know all about it at the surgery, she抯 not really a person of interest, is she??
慖 don抰 know,?says Nelson. 慣urns out that she knew Avril Flowers. She went to the same slimming class. You were right about that.?
Despite everything, Judy feels a faint glow of satisfaction. 慉nd you抳e no idea where Zoe is now??she says.
慛o. She seems to have disappeared. Joe McMahon too. Although apparently he popped up in Tombland at the weekend.?
慦hat was he doing there??
慓od only knows,?says Nelson. 態ut you don抰 need to worry about any of this. Concentrate on Cathbad and your family. Let me know if there抯 any news.?
That抯 easy to say, thinks Judy, putting down her phone. She can hear Maddie and the children downstairs. She knows that she should go to them. But instead she opens her file on the Avril Flowers case.