The tears?
Guilt?
Not because I’d sinned.
Because I tempted him. He sinned for me. He did it because he loved me. He did it because it seemed a little less wrong since I agreed to marry him.
Tears … I couldn’t stop the tears because I knew I couldn’t marry him.
And I couldn’t go home to Rory … to Fisher.
It was time to do something for myself. It was time to fall in love with endless possibilities. Time to walk alone. Time to grow up.
Time to “fucking think for yourself.”
Chapter Two
Four years later …
“Oh my BABY GIRL!” Rory threw her hands in the air and charged me like she did at the airport in Denver after getting out of prison.
I was a teenaged adult then. Deer in the headlights. And no clue where my journey even began, let alone where it might take me.
It took me to Fisher, then it took me to Thailand, then it took me to Ann Arbor, Michigan. In Thailand, I volunteered to help a woman named Alesha. She was fifty-three. A midwife. Much like working for Fisher, I was grunt labor. No experience needed. And much like Fisher, Alesha taught me a lot. I watched （sometimes helped） her deliver thirty-three babies during my year in Thailand. But I knew after the very first delivery, that she had the best job in the world.
After breaking Brendon’s heart that night in Tokyo, I changed my travel plans. Instead of going back to Colorado, I returned to Houston. My grandparents helped me make financial arrangements for college.
Nursing school at the University of Michigan.
A new place where I didn’t know a soul. The perfect place to follow my dream.
“Your dad would be so proud.” Rory hugged me the day I received my bachelor’s degree.
I loved her for acknowledging Dad. He really would have been proud of me.
My mom’s parents were overjoyed for me too. My dad’s parents plastered on their fake smiles, watching Rory and Rose congratulate me. They were not okay with my mom and her lesbian partner. I loved my mom, and I loved Rose too. During my four years in Ann Arbor, they averaged three visits a year. I never made it to Denver, but they didn’t mind coming to me.
The sour looks on my dad’s parents’ faces didn’t bother me. They were old. Set in their ways. And their opinions no longer shaped mine.
I thought for myself. I found a way to love God without fear or guilt—the most liberating feeling ever.
Sex? Yes … I’d had a handful of boyfriends during my four years in Michigan. And they were all better lovers than Brendon. To be fair … it was his first time too.
Alcohol? I wasn’t a binge drinker, but I enjoyed a fun night out with friends.
Friends … I had so many friends from nursing school. They felt more like sisters and brothers to me.
I even got a tattoo … but no one, aside from my lovers, had seen it. Fisher wasn’t the only one who deserved a harem.
“Lunch?” Rory asked.
“Sounds perfect!” I hugged my grandparents just before we headed toward the parking lot. Mom and Rose rode with me while my grandparents drove their rental cars.
“So when do you start your new job?” Rose asked.
I laughed. “First I have to pass my NCLEX exam. Then I’ll find a job.”
“Then you’ll be able to start your master’s degree next fall, correct?”
I nodded. “That’s the plan.”
“We’re moving out of the basement. Getting our own place. There will be plenty of room for you if you decide to come back to Denver,” Mom said.