Feel the warmth of his skin, the brush of his lips, the intensity of his eyes as he looked at me with wonder and anticipation.
The irony? Had I “given” him my virginity, he wouldn’t have remembered. I don’t regret it being Brendon, even if I hurt him. Had it been Fisher, I wouldn’t have been able to walk away. I would have treated losing my virginity like donating a kidney.
More Fisher Mann lessons …
It wasn’t about firsts. Every moment mattered. Every touch. Every word. It was selfish to think of our lives as nothing more than an endless series of giving and taking. It implied we were, more or less, just moving from one moment to the next with no meaning. I knew … deep down I knew it was never about my virginity. Not with Fisher. It was always about my heart.
Looking at Fisher in that bed and being unrecognizable to him was a clear reminder that I, nor anyone else, shouldn’t rely on another human to be a measure of self-worth and success.
“Ready?” Rory asked me.
I nodded slowly.
Chapter Four
“I’ve missed this … you know … time with you two,” I said on a long sigh as the three of us took a hike in the mountains several days after seeing Fisher in the hospital.
“We never took our trip up here,” Rory said, reaching for her water bottle in the side pocket of her backpack as we stopped at a clearing. “I promised to bring you here. Remember when you were adamant about coming up here by yourself?”
I nodded. “Can I be honest now?” I smirked.
She rolled her eyes. “You drove up here anyway?”
Shaking my head, I chuckled. “No. Fisher brought me … on his motorcycle.”
“Oh, Reese.” Rory shook her head. “I didn’t need to know that, especially since his accident.”
“I said you wouldn’t be happy about it, but he said we didn’t have to tell you. He really was a terrible influence. I can’t believe you left me with him.”
Rose rubbed her lips together, enjoying the way I was telling Rory so much, yet nothing at all.
“Well, as soon as he gets out of the hospital, I’ll have a word with him.”
Rose laughed. “You’re going to talk to him about taking your daughter on his motorcycle when he doesn’t remember her? Good plan. Make sure I’m with you when this conversation takes place. I want to listen.”
I laughed too. It wasn’t funny, but it was.
“What do you think will happen if he doesn’t regain all his memory?” Rory slipped her water bottle back into her backpack. “Do you think he will fall back in love with Angie?”
Rose shrugged. “If it happens, it will be incredibly romantic. What is there? Over seven billion people in the world? And he falls in love with the same person twice? Sadly, I fear it won’t happen like that. I mean, I can see him being the nice guy who marries her anyway because everyone adores her, and he’ll trust the people he does remember.”
“He’s known her forever,” Rory said. “I think he’ll remember her. She owns too much of his heart.”
“Unless …” My big mouth opened without me realizing it. Then it was too late.
“Unless what?” Rory asked.
Abort!
“Unless it’s not about time. I mean, you said you knew there was a connection between you and Rose from the day you met. Sure, Fisher’s known Angie for years, but why did it take him so long to decide to marry her? It wasn’t like you and Rose. Nobody was standing in their way. Just the opposite. Everyone wanted it. Except Fisher. I’m just saying … the length of their history isn’t necessarily an indicator for the likelihood that he’ll fall back in love with her. What if he wasn’t truly in love with her? What if she was just the obvious choice for lack of a better one?”