“Worth it.”
“You monster.” She must have been leaning into his hand, because his thumb was stroking her again. Ever so gently.
“Is that how you talk to your fake boyfriend?” He looked so worried. His eyes, the line of his mouth. And yet—so patient. “What happened, Olive?”
She shook her head. “I just . . .”
She couldn’t tell him. And she couldn’t not tell him. But above all, she couldn’t tell him.
Who do you think Adam will believe, Olive?
She had to take a deep breath. Push Tom’s voice out of her head and calm herself before continuing. Come up with something to say, something that wouldn’t make the sky fall in this hotel room.
“My talk. I thought it went okay. My friends said it did. But then I heard people talking about it, and they said . . .” Adam really should stop touching her. She must be getting his whole hand wet. The sleeve of his blazer, too.
“What did they say?”
“Nothing. That it was derivative. Boring. That I stammered. They knew that I’m your girlfriend and said that was the only reason I was chosen to give a talk.” She shook her head. She needed to let it go. To put it out of her head. To think carefully about what to do.
“Who? Who were they?”
Oh, Adam. “Someone. I’m not sure.”
“Did you see their badges?”
“I . . . didn’t pay attention.”
“Were they on your panel?” There was something underneath his tone. Something pressing that hinted at violence and rage and broken bones. Adam’s hand was still gentle on her cheek, but his eyes narrowed. There was a new tension in his jaw, and Olive felt a shiver run down her spine.
“No,” she lied. “It doesn’t matter. It’s okay.”
His lips pressed into a straight line, his nostrils flared, so she added, “I don’t care what people think of me, anyway.”
“Right,” he scoffed.
This Adam, right here, was the moody, irascible Adam who grads in her program complained about. Olive shouldn’t have been surprised to see him this angry, but he’d never been like this with her before.
“No, really, I don’t care what people say—”
“I know you don’t. But that’s the problem, isn’t it?” He stared at her, and he was so close. She could see how the yellows and greens mixed into the clear brown of his eyes. “It’s not what they say. It’s what you think. It’s that you think they’re right. Don’t you?”
Her mouth was full of cotton. “I . . .”
“Olive. You are a great scientist. And you will become an even better one.” The way he was looking at her, so earnest and serious—it was going to break her. “Whatever this asshole said, it speaks nothing of you and a whole lot of them.” His fingers shifted on her skin to weave through the hair behind her ear. “Your work is brilliant.”
She didn’t even think it through. And even if she had, she probably couldn’t have stopped herself. She just leaned forward and hid her face in his neck, hugging him tight. A terrible idea, stupid and inappropriate, and Adam was surely going to push her away, any minute now, except that . . .
His palm slid to her nape, almost as if to press her into him, and Olive just stayed there for long minutes, crying warm tears into the flesh of his throat, feeling how grounding, how warm, how solid he was—under her fingers and in her life.
You just had to go and make me fall for you, she thought, blinking against his skin. You absolute ass.