“Yeah. Just, un . . .”
“Are you gonna puke in my car?”
Olive shook her head. No. Yes. “Maybe?”
“Don’t, or I’ll destroy your rating.”
Olive nodded and tried to slide out of the seat. Her limbs were still nonresponsive.
Sarah Helen frowned. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I just . . .” There was a lump in her throat. “I need to do a thing. That I don’t want to do.”
Sarah Helen hummed. “Is it a work thing, or a love thing?”
“Uh . . . both.”
“Yikes.” Sarah Helen scrunched up her nose. “Double threat. Can you put it off?”
“No, not really.”
“Can you ask someone else to do it for you?”
“No.”
“Can you change your name, cauterize your fingertips, enter the witness protection program, and disappear?”
“Um, not sure. I’m not an American citizen, though.”
“Probably no, then. Can you say ‘fuck it’ and deal with the consequences?”
Olive closed her eyes and thought about it. What, exactly, would the consequences be if she didn’t do what she was planning to? Tom would be free to keep on being an absolute piece of shit, for one. And Adam would never know that he was being taken advantage of. He would move to Boston. And Olive would never have a chance to talk to him again, and all that he’d meant to her would end . . .
In a lie.
A lie, after a lot of lies. So many lies she’d told, so many true things she could have said but never did, all because she’d been too scared of the truth, of driving the people she loved away from her. All because she’d been afraid to lose them. All because she hadn’t wanted to be alone again.
Well, the lying hadn’t worked out too well. In fact, it had downright sucked lately. Time for plan B, then.
Time for some truth.
“No. I don’t want to deal with the consequences.”
Sarah Helen smiled. “Then, my friend, you better go do your thing.” She pressed a button, and the passenger door unlocked with a clunk. “And you better give me a perfect rating. For the free psychotherapy.”
This time, Olive managed to get out of the car. She tipped Sarah Helen 150 percent, took a deep breath, and made her way into the restaurant.
* * *
—
SHE FOUND ADAM immediately. He was big, after all, and the restaurant was not, which made for a pretty quick search. Not to mention that he was sitting with about ten people who looked a lot like very serious Harvard professors. And, of course, Tom.
Fuck my life, she thought, slipping past the busy hostess and walking toward Adam. She figured that her bright red duffle coat would attract his attention, then she’d gesticulate for him to check his phone, and text him to please, please, please give her five minutes of his time when dinner was over. She figured that telling him tonight was the best option—his interview would be over tomorrow, and he’d be able to make his decision with the truth at his disposal. She figured her plan might work.
She had not figured that Adam would notice her while in conversation with a young, beautiful faculty member. She had not figured that he’d suddenly stop speaking, eyes widening and lips parting; that he’d mutter “Excuse me” while staring at Olive and stand from the table, ignoring the curious looks in his direction; that he’d march to the entrance, where Olive was, with quick, long strides and a concerned expression.