“That’s about what I figured.”
His tone implied he knew everything, but he knew nothing at all. She gritted her teeth. She hated that mocking tone. They had been talking about things that mattered. Who had started this conversation, and why? “My aunt didn’t proselytize, as you put it, and I’d only been to Sunday school a few times. I was still hiding every night when—” Just be quiet. Let him think whatever he wants.
“When what?”
Tell him, beloved. Now, while there’s time.
Time? She didn’t understand. She and Roman had plenty of time, didn’t they? She worked for him. But something impelled her to heed the command. “I believed.” It was the truth. Part of it anyway. She wouldn’t say more unless he asked.
“Just like that, you believed. How? Why? To please your aunt?”
“It didn’t please my aunt!” She lifted her hands. “Let’s talk about something else.”
Beloved, obey Me. Trust Me.
Roman glanced at her. “I want to know.”
“You’ll laugh.”
Roman pressed. “I’m not laughing now, am I? Your aunt took you to church, but didn’t want you to become a Christian. What am I missing?”
Lord, please make him believe. “Wherever I was, I slept in a closet. At home, when I was in foster care, in my aunt’s house. It was the only place I felt safe.” He didn’t say anything. “I was afraid of my aunt, afraid of the nightmares that always came. I wanted my mother. Aunt Elizabeth was angry all the time, not like my father had been, but I felt it, even when she tried to hide it. I was afraid of her.” She closed her eyes tightly. “I was afraid of everything.”
She took a deep breath, gathering courage to tell him the rest. “One night, I saw light under the closet door. It was different. I can’t explain it, but I was curious, not afraid. I came out and saw a man standing beside my bed. He didn’t look like anyone I’d ever seen before. He was bigger than my father, and light was all around him. All the fear I’d been feeling went away. I climbed onto my bed and sat there and talked to him. I told him everything that happened. He told me I didn’t have to be afraid anymore, and I believed him.” She let out a shuddering sigh. “I never slept in the closet again.”
“You’re saying an angel came to you.”
Grace didn’t have to wonder if he was dubious. It was written all over his face. Okay, Lord, I did what You told me. He’s all Yours.
“What did your aunt say when you told her?”
“I didn’t tell her. I didn’t tell anyone about him until Christmas, when Miranda talked about angels in my Sunday school class. She showed pictures, and I said angels weren’t girls and didn’t have wings and mine was big and strong and glowed. The other children laughed at me, of course. Just like you’re laughing.”
“I’m not laughing.” He sounded angry, but then so was she.
“My aunt heard about it later. She was furious. She told me to stop telling lies to get attention. I never mentioned him again.”
“Until now.” His expression gentled. He drove for a few minutes, pensive. “Considering what you went through, it’s no surprise you had an imaginary friend.”
See, Lord? “He wasn’t imaginary, Roman. I don’t expect you to believe it, but I know he was real and everything he said was true.”
“What did he say?”
“He said God loved me. I believed him. I still believe. He told me I’d never be alone, and I believed that, too. I never stopped believing in God, even when I listened to people who didn’t.” Patrick for one. She’d never told him about the angel. Perhaps she should have remembered that before pouring out her most precious memory on Roman Velasco–Bobby Ray Dean. What was she hoping would happen? Had he ever shown the least interest in spiritual matters?
“Does he still come to you?”
Grace studied Roman’s profile before she answered. “No. Sometimes I wish he would.”
“Why do you think he left you?”
“I’ve wondered about that a lot. I think it’s because I didn’t need him anymore. When I accepted Jesus, the Holy Spirit came to live in me. That’s what the angel meant when he said I’d never be alone. I sense when God speaks to me. I don’t have to see an angel. Unfortunately, I haven’t always listened.” She’d dreamed about her angel several times over the last few years. After Patrick left. When she was expecting Samuel. In the dream, her friend simply came and sat beside her and didn’t say anything, his presence comfort enough. It was when daylight came that the worry returned, the fear she’d make another mistake, a bigger mistake.