Glancing toward the main house, she wondered if Roman Velasco was still at home, but decided it would be better to wait until Monday before saying anything.
GRACE, AGE 20
A shock wave coursed through Grace as she caught a glimpse of what might lie ahead. Patrick had been benched from the football team due to an injury. She tried to bolster his spirits, but he was bitter. She’d come home from classes today and found him watching television. When she asked why he wasn’t at practice, he said he’d quit the team. He wasn’t going to suffer in practice for a team that had no intention of using him.
Grace assumed Patrick would use the extra time he now had to get a part-time job, especially now that he had forfeited his football scholarship. They’d just gotten married and were barely getting by with both their scholarships and her job at McDonald’s. When he made no effort to do so, their bills mounted. When she pleaded with him, he called her a nag.
After two months, he went to the campus employment office, but claimed they couldn’t find anything that suited him. Library or office jobs were for girls. Fast-food restaurants were for losers. Had he forgotten that’s what she was doing to support both of them?
He said he was working hard enough just to keep his head above water with his course load. He had conveniently forgotten that Grace had a heavier load than he did and was also working twenty-five hours a week. When he suggested she add more work hours until he could find a job, she reminded him she had to maintain her GPA to keep her scholarship. He accused her of being selfish, of caring more about school than her husband. Did she have any idea how difficult it was for him to do college-level work? Someday, he’d be the breadwinner. What sort of job could he get if he didn’t finish college?
The more Patrick talked, the guiltier Grace felt. School had never been easy for Patrick. She wanted to be supportive and encouraging. Wasn’t that what God said a wife should be? And, in truth, between school, work, and Patrick’s demands, she was exhausted. She didn’t know how long she could keep up with all of her responsibilities.
She tried to pray, but worried instead. Whose education mattered more? His, she decided. With that in mind, she applied for a full-time clerical job at a public relations firm, praying that if God had other plans, the job would go to someone else. When they offered her the position, she saw it as a sign. She withdrew from UCLA, grieving in private, while wearing a smile for Patrick’s sake. He was grateful, of course, but it didn’t make their lives any easier. He had no intention of taking on any duties around the apartment, considering that women’s work.
So Grace would come home after a full day at the company to find Patrick lounging on the couch, watching sports on TV. He’d give her a kiss and tell her about his classes and what assignments he had to do. The apartment was always a mess, his books and papers strewn over the table.
She had to work out a tight schedule so she could get all the shopping, laundry, and cleaning done on one of her days off. She gave up going to church. It had always been a battle between them anyway. Patrick never went with her. He said church was a boring waste of time. Better if she used Sunday to prepare meals for the week ahead, packaging and stacking them in the freezer so all she had to do was warm them up when she came home from work. That left her evenings free to help Patrick with his studies. Often he was more interested in having sex than doing his course work. “We can come back to it.” He always fell asleep. Frustrated and worried, she’d get up and finish his work.
Halfway through junior year, Patrick informed Grace he’d changed his major from business administration to physical education. He figured it was a better fit for him. She thought he had a point. When he said he might need postgraduate work to get a really good job, she felt another shock wave of warning. She said that wasn’t part of their agreement. He smiled, kissed her, and said they’d talk about it when the time came for a decision.
There was one thing they had to talk about, though. Grace was pregnant. It wasn’t part of the plan, but she hoped it would help turn things around for them. There had to be some way to make it work. She’d always assumed they would start a family sooner or later.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen!” Patrick raged when she told him. He wanted her to have an abortion. She refused. It was the one time she didn’t go along with what he wanted.
She lost the baby in the second trimester. He didn’t try to hide his relief. He brought home flowers and a bottle of champagne. “Back to plan A.” When he popped the cork, she came close to hating him.