He could get something to fill his belly at the Salvation Army café, and he would get lunch at school for free. But that was hours away, and the only way to ease the pain now was to go back to sleep. It was hard with the lights flashing. He kept thinking about the grocery store. He’d managed to steal an apple once, but the next time he reached for a banana, the grocer grabbed his wrist and said unless Bobby Ray could show him a dollar, he’d better put the banana down. Bobby Ray kicked him and ran, the green banana still clutched in his hand. The grocer chased him two blocks before Bobby Ray managed to escape. He didn’t go by that store anymore.
Mama stopped talking in the bedroom, and other sounds made Bobby Ray pull the foul-smelling blanket over his head and plug his ears. He might only be seven, but he knew what Mama let men do to her so she could pay the rent. At least this man had looked nice. The last one had knocked Bobby Ray across the room. Mama jumped on his back, and he hit her, too, and kicked her before he left.
Sobbing, Mama had crawled to Bobby Ray and gathered him in her arms. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. How bad did he hurt you?” When she tipped his chin up, she cried harder. She told him to tell his teacher he’d fallen down the stairs by accident. “I don’t want CPS coming to take you away from me. We’d never see each other again.” The thought of being taken away from his mother had scared Bobby Ray more than the man who’d hurt him and Mama.
Bobby Ray heard angry voices in the street below. Mama had told him never to look out because you never knew when people might start shooting. “Stay down and safe, baby.” Two men shouted. Glass shattered.
Mama’s friend started talking in the bedroom. Mama laughed. “It’s no big deal. Lie down, honey. We were having such a good time. . . .” The man said he had to go. People might wonder where he was. More conversation, quieter now. The bedroom door opened, and the man came out, half-dressed. Mama followed in her pink robe. “Well, if you gotta go, you gotta go.” She flipped a switch, flooding the room with light.
Mama’s friend had black shiny shoes and nice dark slacks, a glossy leather belt. He fumbled at the buttons on his white shirt. Catching Bobby Ray looking at him, he blushed deep red. “Sorry, kid.” The apology made Bobby Ray feel the hard punch of wrongness in everything about Mama’s life.
Mama held the jacket for the man to slip on. When he had trouble with his tie, Mama brushed his hands away. “Let me do it for you.” She pouted prettily. “Fifty bucks doesn’t go very far these days. I barely make rent, and I have a growing boy to feed.” The man’s eyes narrowed, his lips pressing tight. Mama sighed as she dusted his lapels. She stepped back. “What’d you have for dinner tonight, Bobby Ray?”
“Cheerios.”
“And you drank the last of the milk two days ago, didn’t you, baby? I’m sorry. Mama’s doing the best she can.”
“Don’t you get welfare?”
“Rent’s higher in the Tenderloin than in Wichita. But you’d know that, considering the hotel you’re staying in for your conference.”
The man gave Bobby Ray an embarrassed look and pulled out his wallet. Bobby Ray noticed the gold ring on his finger as he chose some bills and thrust them into Mama’s outstretched palm. She kept her hand out, and he added one more before folding his wallet and tucking it away. He didn’t look happy. Mama smiled. “You have a good heart.” She sounded sincere. She went to the door, removed the chain, turned the two dead bolts, and opened it. “Be careful out there. You’re not in Kansas anymore.” She gave a soft laugh, as though she’d told a joke.
The man looked unsettled. “I left my rental car near the club. I was a little drunk. How do I get back?”
“Turn left, go two blocks, turn right. You’ll see the light.” Mama closed the door in his face. She turned both dead bolts and put the chain on again. Her smile died along with any hint of pleasure as she picked up the shoulder bag she’d tossed on the old orange recliner. She shoved the money into it and dropped it again. Yawning widely, she rubbed her back. “I need a long, hot shower. And then I’m going to sleep until noon.” She leaned down and kissed Bobby Ray. “You get yourself up and ready for school, sweetie.” She went into the bathroom.
Bobby Ray did what he had to do. He stole a twenty-dollar bill from Mama’s purse.
As soon as school let out, Bobby Ray headed for CVS and pushed a cart bigger than him up and down the aisles. Everything cost so much! He decided on a jar of Smucker’s Goober peanut butter and grape jelly stripes, a loaf of Wonder Bread, a box of twelve crayons, a package of four Ticonderoga pencils with a small sharpener, and a lined notebook on sale for a dollar. Maybe Mama had gone shopping with the rest of the money the man had given her last night. Maybe there’d be milk in the refrigerator and cereal in the cabinet.