“Yes,” Wilde said. “Thank you.”
“So what happened when you found your father?”
“Dead end.”
“I’m sorry. So what’s the next step?”
“There is no next step.”
“You’re giving up?”
“We’ve discussed this before. Finding out how I ended up in the woods won’t matter.”
“What about Matthew?”
“What about him?”
“Does he matter? I know we are all supposed to shrug off your eccentricities as ‘Oh, you know how Wilde is,’ but that’s no excuse for ignoring Matthew.”
Wilde thought about that. Then he nodded and said, “Fair.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“Matthew’s in college.”
“He’s home on break.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Hester nodded. “You’re still keeping an eye on them.”
Wilde did not reply.
“So why…？” Hester shook her head. “Never mind. Get in the car. We’ll drive over together.”
“Nah.”
“Seriously?”
“I’ll be in touch before the end of the day,” Wilde said. “Tell Matthew.”
He turned and started toward the woods.
“Wilde?”
He stopped.
Hester tried to keep her voice even. Hester hadn’t planned on raising this, not yet anyway. She’d hoped to see him a few times, ease into it, but that wasn’t her style and it wasn’t his style, and part of her feared that confronting him on this now, the tragic event that bonded them forever, would just lead him to disappear deeper into the woods. “Right before you left the country”—she heard the crack in her tone, tried to stifle it—“I made Oren take me to that spot up Mountain Road. To the embankment.”
Wilde didn’t move, didn’t turn and face her.
“A makeshift cross is still there. On the side of the road. All these years later. Weathered and faded, I guess, but it still marks the spot where David’s car went off the road. You probably know that. That the cross is still there. I bet you visit sometimes, don’t you?”
Wilde still wouldn’t face her.
“I looked down that embankment. Where the car skidded off. I let myself picture it all—the whole thing. The icy road. The dark.”
“Hester.”
“Do you want to tell me what really happened that night?”
“I told you.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “You always said it was your fault.”
“It was.”
“I don’t believe that anymore.”
Wilde did not move.
“I mean, I never fully believed it, I don’t think. I was in shock for a very long time. And I didn’t see a need to know the truth. Like you. With your past. What’s the difference, you always tell me—you’ll always be the boy left in the woods. What’s the difference, I told myself—my son will always be dead.”
“Please.” Wilde slowly turned back to face her. Their eyes locked. “I’m sorry.”
“You’ve said that before. But I never blamed you. And I don’t want your apologies.”
He stood there and looked very lost.
“Wilde?”
“Tell Matthew I’ll be in touch,” Wilde said, and then he disappeared into the thicket.
Chapter
Six
Hester, Wilde knew, was right about Matthew. He should not have stayed away.
Things had changed. That had been his rationale. Matthew was grown and was at college. More to the point, Laila had a boyfriend now, the first guy she’d kept around since David’s death eleven years ago. Wilde had no rights here. He had no standing. He wanted no part of it. In the past, his presence had been, he hoped, a comfort to her. There had been a role for him. Now that role was gone. He could only cause disruptions.
So he stayed away.
Of course, Wilde still kept a clandestine watch on Laila and Matthew from the woods—that was how he knew Matthew was back—but his vigils were becoming less and less frequent. There is a fine balance between being appropriately protective and creepily stalking.
Still, Laila was one thing. Matthew was another. So maybe he was just making excuses. Maybe he had simply been selfish. In the past year, he had taken too many risks in terms of personal entanglements. Now he wanted to take none.
Hester had also surprised him by bringing up the car crash. Why? And why now?
Wilde stopped by a specific tree and dug up one of his hidden stainless-steel lockboxes. He had six such all-weather storage containers throughout the forest, all with fake IDs, cash, passports, weaponry, and disposable smartphones.