“What are you talking about?” Nina asked. “We’ve been together for over two years. Where did you think this was heading?”
“You never said you were planning to propose! And I didn’t think Maura was planning to, either. Especially after the strings.” Amie winced, knowing her words must have stung.
“It wasn’t planned,” Nina said coolly. “It just happened. But clearly you’re already upset about Ben, so maybe this isn’t the best time to discuss it.”
“You know I love Maura, but this is all happening so fast,” Amie said. “I just want to make sure that you’ve taken the time to think about things before jumping into marriage.”
“This isn’t some stranger I met in Vegas, Amie. This is the woman I love.”
“And I’m not telling you to leave her!” Amie could see that her panicked pacing was starting to grate on Nina, so she finally stood still. “It’s just that marriage is a big deal. And marrying someone who’s about to die is a huge fucking deal!”
Amie bit her lip right after she said it. She rarely cursed, and she honestly didn’t intend to swear, the word had just jumped out. But it felt like a slap across both sisters’ faces.
“I know it’s a big fucking deal,” Nina fumed. “And she’s not about to die. We could still have eight more years.”
Amie knew that her sister was the rational one, the sense to her sensibility. And Amie desperately wanted to reason with her, to help Nina understand her fears.
“I’m just worried that you’re so focused on the fact that it’s still years away that it doesn’t feel real to you right now,” Amie explained. “You’re not thinking about what it will actually be like when it happens, and you’re a widow in your late thirties!”
Nina stared at her sister coldly. “I’ve thought about that every day since we opened our boxes.”
“Okay, well, what about kids?” Amie asked.
“You know we don’t want kids.”
“I know you feel that way now, but you’re only thirty, so you might change your mind. And by the time you’re almost forty and alone . . .”
“That’s life!” Nina shouted. “Before the strings arrived, that was the chance anyone took when they got married, or when they had kids. There was no guarantee. But you still vowed in sickness and in health, not knowing which one you’d get, and you still promised till death do us part, with no idea when that parting would occur.” Nina paused. “But now that we have the strings, suddenly the risk that every couple used to accept has become so unimaginable?”
Nina was right, Amie knew it. And she knew she was making a mess of things, but she couldn’t stand down now. She had fallen too deep into the pit of her own uncertainty, convinced that her sister needed her. “I’m just trying to protect you!” she insisted.
“Well, you don’t have to do that,” Nina said sternly. “I never asked you to.”
“Come on, Nina! You’re not the only one who gets to worry about people and want to protect them. You’ve always been that way with me, and god knows you’ve been that way with Maura, and sometimes we get to feel that way, too!” Amie was nearly out of breath.
“This is different,” Nina said, staring harshly at her sister through glassy eyes. “And you know what? I don’t even think this is about me. This is about Ben, and you being a fucking hypocrite. You spend months writing all these secret love letters to him, and then you actually start falling for him in real life, and now you won’t even give him a chance! All because you’re afraid of his string.”
“That’s not fair,” Amie said softly. Nina was wrong, she thought. It wasn’t about Ben. It couldn’t be.
“I just don’t want to watch you suffer,” Amie said. “You’re my sister!”
But Nina was done discussing. She hastily stood up from her seat, the legs of the chair screeching against the floor.
“Just because you’re a coward who would rather protect herself than take a chance on someone, that doesn’t mean I have to make the same selfish choice,” Nina said bitterly. “I’ve made my decision.”
Amie knew that the argument was over now. Nina was shutting down. Her voice was brusque, her face stony and grim.
“And if my marriage is so upsetting to you,” Nina said, “then you don’t have to be there.”
She slammed the door behind her as she left.